Why Would Someone Fail to Respond to a Texted Love Confession?

Photo by Elena Joland on Unsplash

I would never have the heart to say nothing if someone confessed feelings to me over text. Even if that’s far from my preferred method for sharing feelings, I would at least dignify what they said with some sort of response. But, sadly, not everyone feels the same way.

Some people choose not to respond to a texted love confession. Here are five reasons this might be the case.

5 Reasons Someone Wouldn’t Respond to a Texted Love Confession

1. They didn’t see it.

   Some people are so popular that they’re constantly texting many people at once. It’s possible your confession just got lost in the shuffle. Other people are really busy and only make time to read and respond to what they consider “high-priority” texts. If they didn’t respond to yours, unfortunately that means they didn’t see it as high-priority.
   
   This is one of the reasons I don’t like texted love confessions. If you tell someone you like them in person, they’re face-to-face with you, so it’s much harder for them to be distracted by other things or other people. (Ideally, if you choose this method, you’re not confessing to them while they’re busy or talking to others.)
   
   Of course, a face-to-face confession also requires a lot more courage, which is why many people prefer other methods for confessing. (I think a phone call is the next best one if you’re hoping for an immediate response.)
   
   You may have seen your text as the most important message in the world after you sent it. But the other person, who probably had no idea it was coming, didn’t know that. So, it’s not like they were waiting for it, nor did they know how impatiently you were awaiting their response.
   
   They probably thought it was just another text, one they could respond to whenever they felt like it. And while they were busy responding to other texts and going about their life, they just forgot you sent it and forgot to respond to it. If you really want to know how they feel—or if they even got your confession text—you’re going to have to find a different way to ask them.
   
   Just so you know, if this person did like you, they would probably be eagerly awaiting all your texts and prioritize responding to them. So, if this is the reason someone failed to respond to your texted confession, their silence speaks volumes about their feelings for you.

2. They’re dealing with something.

   If you confess your feelings to someone who’s dealing with any major issue, there’s a good chance they won’t respond to your texted confession. There’s a good chance they’re not responding to anyone else’s texts either, just so you know.
   
   But the thing is, if you like someone, I would hope you have at least some idea of what’s going on in their life right now. And if you know they’re dealing with something, instead of hoping for a response to your confession, try reaching out to see if you can help. Or give them space to work things out if they need it. Hopefully, when they’re in a better place, you can confess again and they’ll be ready to respond.
   
   It is possible, though, that you’re confessing to someone that you only or mostly talk to through text. Or maybe the nature of your relationship doesn’t allow for you to know the details of each other’s lives right now. Whatever the case, if this person is dealing with something, know that they may fail to respond, not because they don’t want to, but because they just can’t right now.

3. They don’t know what to say.

   If you confessed your feelings to someone out of the blue, there’s a good chance they weren’t prepared for it. And if they don’t have strong feelings for you already, there’s a good chance they’re having trouble sorting through their own feelings. This sorting process can take time and, as that time passes, they’re not responding.
   
   It’s not that they don’t care enough to give you a response, they just want to wait until they know better how they feel.
   
   What can happen, though, is that by the time they think they’ve done enough sorting, so much time has passed that now they don’t even feel like they can respond. At this point, they don’t know what to do. Should they text you back anyway? Should they tell you in person? Should they find another way to tell you? Should they respond at all?
   
   Now they have to sort through their confusion. Once that’s done, they may end up telling you how they really feel through texting or other means or they may just pretend your confession never happened. It all depends on the strength of their feelings and the level of their courage. Like in #1, if you think this is the reason they didn’t respond, you might want to ask them about it another way.

4. They don’t want to hurt your feelings.

   This is probably the lamest excuse for not responding to someone’s texted confession. By not responding to your feelings, they’re hurting your feelings. It annoys me that some people think the kind thing to do is not to say anything or to give a vague response when someone confesses feelings they don’t or can’t reciprocate. In reality, the truth is always more merciful.
   
   I talk in this post about why it’s more painful when your crush leaves things open this way. The main reason for this is the uncertainty. When you’re not sure of someone else’s feelings for you, you wonder whether you should begin the moving on process or whether you should hold on. Hope can continue indefinitely when a romantic door is left open.
   
   But if you’re dealing with someone who’s “nice” in this sense—someone who goes to great lengths to avoid conflict—I would advise you to try moving on.

5. They don’t care.

   This is probably the most hurtful reason someone wouldn’t respond to a texted love confession. Unfortunately, it’s possible that the person you told saw your text, didn’t feel the same way, and just decided not to respond. Why they would do this is beyond me.
   
   Even if they don’t feel the same way, they could at least acknowledge that they got your text. Of course, the openness of not responding to your feelings would still be painful, but it would be slightly better than saying nothing at all.

   
   The sad truth is, there are people in this world who just don’t care enough about other people’s feelings to always respond to them. They only respond when it’s convenient for them or when they want something from the other person. Ideally, you would know if you’re dealing with someone like this before you confess to them.
   
   If, for example, they tend not to respond to your texts regularly, you shouldn’t be too surprised if they fail to respond to this one. If they liked you, they would be responding often, and they would most likely be ecstatic to see this text from you. And they would respond to it right away—or at least as soon as they found the courage to do so.
   
   As it is, they didn’t care enough about your feelings to respond to them. That’s a reflection of them, though, not you. But I’m very aware that knowing that doesn’t lessen the pain.

Final Thoughts

I’m truly sorry if you texted your feelings to someone and they didn’t even bother to respond. Even a simple, “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way” would be better than nothing. Trust me, I know that may not be how you feel after getting rejected that way, but in the long run, it would help you with the moving on process.

I also know that now you probably regret confessing your feelings to this person at all. And, as a result, you may be reluctant to confess your feelings in the future. But please try your absolute best not to take this rejection personally. It took great courage for you to send that text. Applaud yourself for that.

And don’t let this experience sour you on confessing your feelings. Just remember, it might be better to hold off on confessing until you’re sure the person you like is worthy of your time and affection. Also, you might want to choose an alternate confession method in the future, but that’s just my opinion. And in case you need advice on what to do now, this post may help.

Now it’s your turn. Why do you think someone wouldn’t respond to a texted love confession?

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: August 23, 2023