How Going from Christianity to Spirituality Can Help You Reclaim Control of Your Life

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Back in my religious days, I felt like I had very little control over my life. The way I interpreted the religious teachings I was introduced to in Christianity, I thought I was almost completely reliant on an outside force to tell me what to do and who to be. And that, in turn, made me feel like I couldn’t look inside for guidance on how to live my life. I couldn’t trust myself to make decisions for my life, especially the big ones. As a result, I felt that guidance had to come from outside.

For instance, I chose one of my majors in college because of someone’s suggestion, not because it was necessarily my passion. (I ended up adding a second major that was more passion-based, but it was related to the first major. And neither one led to a career outside college.)

And that’s another thing. After I graduated from college, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life. I had an idea, but I never took real steps to get things started because I didn’t know if that was part of the plan or not. And so, with that uncertainty, I thought all I could do was wait.

And wait.

And wait.

I was waiting for instructions. Waiting for the plan to be revealed. Or waiting for someone to come rescue me in some form, like maybe a romantic partner. And so, I put more effort into trying to find that partner than into finding ways to move my life forward.

In fact, as I talk about here, I actually destroyed work I could have published because I didn’t think the person I was crushing on at the time would approve of it. His approval was more important to me than trying to start a writing career of my own because I placed more value on having that kind of relationship than building my own life.

I didn’t even really think it was up to me to build my own life. I thought all I could do was wait or look for someone to save me. I found ways to pass the time while I waited, though. But I was still mostly just waiting.

How Being Spiritual Has Changed Things

Now that I’m spiritual, not religious, I understand things differently. I still believe in a Higher Power, but I also believe that we have an active role to play in our lives. I believe we have power. And we don’t have to sit and wait passively for an outside force to come save us or reveal the plan to us.

I still don’t really know where I stand on the concept of there being a plan per se. But I do feel like life is more than passively waiting for everything, like knowing what next step to take to move forward. I believe it’s our responsibility to figure out what we want, then go after it. And I believe our Higher Power will support us when we do.

I also believe in experimentation—trying different things until you find what works. This is especially true when you find yourself confused about life. I think experimentation is the best way to get feedback so you learn things like what you actually enjoy doing and what you don’t.

I also believe that feedback can teach you about yourself, like the places you might be holding yourself back or areas where you still have work or growing to do. That, in turn, can teach you what you might want to focus on or where you might want to redirect your focus.

Based on the religious teachings I learned, experimentation wasn’t encouraged. You had to follow the plan. You don’t need to experiment if you follow the plan. And you’ll only mess things up if you get something wrong by not following the plan. This mentality is terrible for making progress because you have to make mistakes to move forward. Making mistakes means you’re learning and growing. And this should be encouraged and celebrated, not discouraged.

Reclaiming Your Inner Power

In this post, I talk about five challenges you might face when you leave Christianity for spirituality. One of those challenges is reclaiming authority in your life. If you’ve been religious for a while, you’re probably used to relying on religious teachings and authority figures in the church to tell you what to believe and how to live. As you become spiritual instead of religious, you’re going to have to be the one making those decisions.

This means reclaiming authority in your life is necessary for regaining control over your life. Because if you don’t believe you have authority, you might find it challenging to take an active role in making decisions, choosing what to believe, and moving forward.

One of the suggestions I give for reclaiming that authority is empowering your inner voice. I like to distinguish between the passive and the active voice in the mind, something I go into more here. The passive voice is the one that says random or bothersome things when you’re just idly listening to the voice in your head talk. The active voice involves you actively using the voice to tell yourself the things you want or need to hear.

When empowering your inner voice, it’s the active voice that you want to empower. And you can start by simply reminding yourself that you do have power and that you can make decisions for your life, big and small. And as you go on this journey from Christianity to spirituality, you’ll likely be changing a lot of your spiritual beliefs. So, you can use the voice to remind yourself of your new beliefs whenever you find yourself acting in accordance with old ones.

The old ones will probably linger for a while, especially if they were deeply ingrained. But as you learn to live according to your new beliefs, you can use the active voice in your head to remind yourself of what you actually believe now. And as you empower your inner voice and start reclaiming authority in your life, you can start to take back control.

Final Thoughts

While not everyone who practices Christianity may feel like they need to take a passive approach to life, my own experience has taught me that Christian teachings can lead to this way of thinking. They can lead you to believe that you’re completely or almost completely reliant on an outside force for everything and that you have little control over your life.

I find that being spiritual instead of religious has helped me understand that I do have control over my life. No, I can’t control everything. No one can. But at least now I know that I have an active role to play in moving my life forward. Just believing that has allowed me to do things I probably never would have done if I was still just waiting.

~ Ashley C.

P.S. Although the journey from Christianity to spirituality has been both freeing and rewarding, it hasn’t been without its challenges. That’s why I now offer spiritual coaching services to help Christians navigate this transition. If you’re interested, simply click here to learn more.