What Does It Mean When an INFJ Dreams About a Former Crush?

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A lot of the information out there about dreams of former crushes is not personality specific. For INFJs who are innately intuitive, dreaming of a former crush can take on even more significance than for other personality types. While I don’t claim to be a dream expert, I thought I would share my theories about what it means when INFJs have these types of dreams.

Familiarity and Comfort

When you dream about someone from the past—particularly a former crush—there is a wonderful sense of familiarity and comfort. You’re reminded of the warm feelings you had when you were around this person. Even if things didn’t end the way you wanted them to, your dreams may reflect wishes and desires you wanted to see fulfilled.

When things are hectic or uncertain or when our lives get turned upside down, I think we unconsciously search for something that will give us peace. And we often find peace in the familiar. Therefore, allowing you to see a former crush in your dreams could be your subconscious’ way of comforting you and giving you that peace.

Is It a Longing for Them?

My most common reaction to seeing a former crush in my dreams was to search for them upon waking. I would open my eyes filled with wonderful emotions and memories of them, and I would think the dream meant they were reaching out to me.

Once many years ago, after waking from one such dream, I checked to see how this person was doing on social media (back when I was still actively using it). That was when I saw that we were no longer friends.

Since I didn’t remember un-friending him, I assumed he had either un-friended me or deleted then restored his account and never added me as a friend. I prefer to give him the benefit of the doubt, so I tend to go with the latter theory. Either way, it hit me hard that this boy I loved no longer wanted me in his life. And this left me wondering, what did the dream mean then?

My theory now is that dreams of past crushes are not necessarily longings for them. I think they’re longings for the feelings of love they arose in us. I talk in this post about how one of the positive aspects of unrequited love is that it evokes feelings of love.

Even if the love you feel isn’t reciprocal, the feelings of love are still strong and (usually) pleasant. Dreaming of a former crush could be an illustration of your longing for love in general and your subconscious reminding you of what it felt like to be in love.

But it is also possible that you still have feelings for this person. If that’s the case, you need to decide whether you should be acting on those feelings or finding a way to let that person go.

Recalling the Past

Past crushes can also be symbols of a different time and place. I talk in this post about how thinking of my first crush reminds me of a time when I was still authentic. So now, when I see him in my dreams, instead of reaching for him or trying to find him, I just revel in what it felt like to be fully me. This article from Bustle talks more about the potential meanings of all kinds of crush dreams.

If you’re on a journey of rediscovery like I am, don’t be surprised if you have more frequent dreams of former crushes as you read through old journal entries and revisit the past in an effort to recover what was lost there. In these cases, your dreams could be telling you, you’re on the right path.

Feelings Resurface

One thing that has often happened to me is, I’ll think I’m over a former crush, but then I’ll dream about them and wake up with all my feelings for them resurfaced. I used to think this meant I was clearly not over them. And, in truth, it took a long time for me to fully move on from some of my former crushes. But the thing is, I still dream about them. And sometimes those feelings of love resurface even after all these years.

Now I understand that letting go for INFJs looks different than it does for other people. Because our love goes so deep, the people we love will always be part of us. Accepting this is part of the process of moving on from an unrequited crush for INFJs.

When feelings of love for a former crush resurface after dreaming of them, that doesn’t mean that you’re longing for them or still in love with them. It just means that your mind and heart remember what loving them was like. But if you’ve moved on, you’re still free to love someone new with your whole heart.

Final Thoughts

INFJs, don’t be afraid when past crushes show up in your dreams. Just try not to take these dreams too literally. Often your intuition will speak to you through dreams, so try to see if you can find what it’s really trying to tell you.

But if you find the literal interpretation relevant to you, by all means, go with it.

Now it’s your turn. What do you think it means when INFJs see former crushes in their dreams? I’d love to hear your theories and any stories you’d like to share.

~ Ashley C.

P.S. If you’re an INFJ or someone who loves deeply and you would like tips and advice about crushes, unrequited love, and the search for a romantic partner, feel free to join “The INFJ Search for Love” newsletter!

Last updated: June 7, 2024