The Positive Side to Unrequited Love

Photo by Rebecca on Unsplash

I know what you’re thinking. If you’ve ever experienced unrequited love, you’re wondering how there could possibly be a positive side to it. But for even the most unpleasant things in life, when looked at from the right perspective, you can always find the positive. Unrequited love is no exception.

3 Positive Things About Unrequited Love

1. The Mystery

   One positive aspect of unrequited love is the thrill of the mystery. If the person you love doesn’t know how you feel, you can imagine their response to your confession. You can imagine that they’re thrilled to know how you feel and that they feel the same way about you.
   
   Once you reveal your feelings, however, the mystery is gone. Then you’re faced with one of the possible responses to a confession of love. (The advice there is tailored for INFJs, but the responses are for everyone.)
   
   While it’s true that the person may reciprocate—thus fulfilling your fantasies, which would be wonderful—that’s just one of six possible responses. And each of the others comes with a certain degree of pain.
   
   While I’m very aware of how painful unrequited love can be, at least if the other person doesn’t know, you still have the mystery.

2. The Potential

   As I say in my post Is It Worth Holding Onto an Unrequited Crush?, unrequited love doesn’t have to be a permanent state. If you do decide to tell your crush how you feel, they may reciprocate, and you’ll be elated.
   
   And even if they don’t reciprocate right away, they may someday. That gives you hope, which is something we all need to hold onto when we find it.
   
   This is all to say that just knowing your crush could return your feelings can make an unrequited crush worthwhile. Even if it’s painful at times, when you feel the immense joy that comes with knowing your love is returned, you’ll be amazed at how quickly that pain will be forgotten.
   
   And just think, if you had never started loving that person before you knew how they felt, who knows if you two would have ever gotten together.

3. It’s Better Than Not Loving at All

   I’m one of those people who’s in love with the idea of love. I love deep romance. I love the idea of exchanging love letters. And I love having romantic love in my life even if it only exists in my mind.
   
   If, for example, I don’t have a real person to crush on, sometimes I’ll invent someone to love. And these fantasy guys sometimes serve as inspiration for stories I’ve written.
   
   If you love someone who doesn’t love you back, I consider that better than not having anyone to love romantically. Even though I haven’t yet found my life partner, that doesn’t make me any less enthralled with the idea of love. That’s why love is one of my favorite topics to read about, write about, sing about, and fantasize about.
   
   Unrequited love counts as real love because it evokes feelings of love. And I consider that preferable to a life without romantic love. Romantic love makes us feel alive.

Final Thoughts

As you can see, even unrequited love has its positive side. So don’t ever think that, because your love is unrequited, it doesn’t count. Your feelings are real and valid. And they count. And since unrequited love can become reciprocated, know that it doesn’t have to be the end of the story.

Now I turn it to you. What positive side do you see to unrequited love?

~ Ashley C.

P.S. If you’re an INFJ or someone who loves deeply and you would like tips and advice about crushes, unrequited love, and the search for a romantic partner, feel free to join “The INFJ Search for Love” newsletter!

Last updated: June 7, 2024