How to Get Clear on What You Believe After Leaving Religion

Photo by Patrick Janser on Unsplash

I’ve recently been through a spiritual crisis, though it wasn’t as extreme as some I’ve read about online. It’s just that, after a series of events, I came to a place where I didn’t know what was right and wrong anymore. I didn’t know what I was supposed to believe or what my Higher Power expected of me.

Through a lot of soul-searching and time spent alone and in meditation, I have finally gotten through the worst of this crisis. Now I feel like I’m practicing a more authentic version of my personal spirituality, though there is still room for improvement as I’m sure there always will be. But one thing that happened as a result of this self-discovery journey is that I ended up walking away from religion even though I used to be deeply religious. Now consider myself spiritual not religious.

I offer more details about what led to my spiritual crisis in this post. Here, I want to talk about something that helped me get through it: firmly establishing what I believe. To regain your spiritual bearings after leaving religion, especially if you’ve been religious for a long time, it’s helpful to start by getting clear on what you believe. Some people may refer to this process as “deconstruction,” but I prefer to think of it as just clarification of your beliefs. This is a breakdown of the process that helped me do that, though when I did it, the steps were not so explicit.

6 Steps for Clarifying Your Beliefs After Leaving Religion

1. State your beliefs.

   You don’t have to write down every single thing you believe, like that you believe the sky is blue and the grass is green. But take time to write down beliefs that deal with the areas where you’re struggling spiritually.
   
   For instance, you can write, “I believe in a Higher Power” or “I believe in heaven.” Right now, you’re not concerned about whether these beliefs are authentic for you or not. Just write down your beliefs as they are, either as a list or in paragraph form.
   
   And it’s best to actually write them down, either by hand or on the computer. Don’t just keep them in your head because that will make it harder to do the following activities.

2. Discard beliefs that no longer resonate with you.

   Now is when you start examining your beliefs for authenticity. Go through your beliefs, one at a time. For each belief, evaluate whether that belief holds true for you or not. Does it feel real to you? Does it resonate with you? Does it reflect the way you view spirituality now? It may have at one time, but you might find that now it doesn’t.
   
   For instance, I used to believe that Christianity was the only true religion. I no longer believe that, so I discarded that belief.
   
   It might be that as you come to certain beliefs, you won’t know right away whether you believe them or not. That’s ok. Work on the ones you’re clearest about first, and leave yourself time to ponder the others.
   
   This activity doesn’t have to be done in one sitting. You can take a few days, weeks, or even months to do it. But if you’re serious about regaining your spiritual bearings after leaving religion, make sure to refer back to your beliefs every now and then. As you live your life, you may discover what you truly believe about things you may not have been certain of right away.

3. Replace discarded beliefs with new ones.

   You’ll probably want to replace the beliefs you’ve discarded with new beliefs. If you don’t, you might find that your old beliefs will still fight to have authority in your life.
   
   It may be possible to discard some beliefs without replacing them with others if they aren’t very contentious for you or deeply held by you. But for the beliefs that you’ve turned over and over in your mind or the ones that have caused you to lose sleep or question what you once considered certain—those beliefs will have to be replaced.
   
   Over time, though, you may find that beliefs that were once contentious for you no longer are. In that case, you may not need to hold onto even the beliefs you replaced them with.
   
   This is what happened to the belief about religion that I mentioned in #2. (Now I simply believe that there is no true religion. What’s important is to practice your own authentic spirituality.) But initially, you’ll want to replace all of those deep beliefs.

4. Modify beliefs that need modification.

   Some beliefs you may not have to throw out altogether. You may just need to modify them so they hold true for you. For example, during my spiritual crisis, I knew that I still believed in a Higher Power. But I had to modify the way I see that Power.
   
   I used to see my Higher Power as a Being who could be greater than the universe but also here with us. But now I understand that that Power is the Divine—that something that’s greater than all of us. And I understand that God is a label people give to the Divine, but we’re free to use whatever label we prefer.
   
   Any beliefs you still find meaning in but whose meaning has changed will have to be changed. But, again, this process can take time as you uncover your authentic beliefs, so don’t rush it.

5. Explore other forms of spirituality or belief systems.

   This step may or may not be necessary for you. If you find that you’re clear on what you believe without exploring other forms of spirituality or belief systems, there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you’re trying to establish a new spiritual foundation, it might be helpful to hear about other people’s experiences with spirituality.
   
   Maybe there are other ways of believing in or experiencing your Higher Power that you hadn’t considered. If you learn about them, you might find new things that resonate with you, and you can add them to your beliefs. Keep in mind that this is not a fixed list or paragraph. You can add to it and change it as you change and grow on your spiritual journey—something I mentioned in #3.
   
   You can also look at other ways of practicing the belief system you’re familiar with. It was through reading books on other ways of practicing Christianity that I became clear on some of my own beliefs. I don’t think I could have made the transition from being deeply religious to being spiritual without that bridge.

6. Practice what you believe every day.

   This is the hardest part of this process. It’s easy to write down your beliefs, though how you uncover your authentic beliefs can be challenging. But the hardest part is to actually live what you believe.
   
   Your old beliefs will constantly try to resurface as you start to live your new or modified beliefs. But that’s another reason it’s so important to have them written down. Whenever you find the old beliefs fighting for authority, look at your true beliefs to remind yourself of what you actually believe.
   
   It’s a good idea to put your beliefs in a place where you can see them every day, just in case you need a reminder. And you don’t have to have all your beliefs written there, only the ones that you feel most shape the way you live your life—the ones that make you feel the most free. Or the ones you just feel you need to be reminded of more often.
   
   Eventually, you may come to a place where you no longer need the reminder. But until you get there, it can be helpful to have it.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve walked away from religion or if you’re considering doing so, you might find yourself struggling to regain your spiritual bearings afterward. This is why one of the first things you might want to do is establish your spiritual foundation by getting clear on your beliefs.

Your foundation can be built with beliefs you may have learned in Christianity that still resonate with you but also new beliefs—for example, beliefs that reflect how you really view and experience your Higher Power and that reflect the spirituality you would like to practice today.

As I said above, this list or paragraph of beliefs isn’t fixed. It can change as you grow and evolve spiritually. But after leaving religion, you might find it helpful to get clear on where you are spiritually now.

And as you do this work, don’t forget what Robert Bolton said: “A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind.”

Now I turn it to you. How would you get clear on what you believe after leaving religion?

~ Ashley C.

P.S. If you consider yourself Christian but you’re finding that Christianity is no longer serving you or allowing you to feel free or live authentically, you might want to start practicing a spirituality that feels more authentic to you. If so, I offer spiritual coaching services that might be able to help. Simply click here to learn more.

Last updated: March 19, 2026