How Do You Know It's Time To Go on a Journey of Rediscovery?

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In my post What Is a Journey of Rediscovery Like for an INFJ?, I describe a journey of rediscovery from the perspective of an INFJ. Now the question is, how do you know it’s time for one?

The First Sign

The way I see it, anytime you find yourself taking a trip down memory lane, that’s a kind of journey of rediscovery. If you find yourself doing that often, that’s usually a sign that it’s time to go on a deliberate journey of rediscovery. Why? Because those promptings are telling you something.

The idea of taking the time to rediscover yourself is to rediscover something about yourself. Maybe there was something you used to have—like a certain trait or quality—that you now feel is lost or missing. Maybe you had it in abundance or only in trickles, but either way, you find yourself without something you feel you need to fulfill your purpose. The only way to find it again is to rediscover it.

My Journey of Rediscovery

I decided to begin my journey of rediscovery when I started questioning the things I used to enjoy without question. And the reasoning was always cloaked in religion or religious language. Will God approve of me if I watch this? Do the Scriptures say it’s ok to read this? And what about this song? Can I listen to this song and still be a good Christian?

I didn’t realize until I started rereading old journal entries—a suggestion I made for rediscovering yourself—that this questioning began almost as soon as I became a member of what I consider to be one of the stricter Christian denominations. (I’m not yet ready to mention the name of the denomination, but I probably will in a future post.)

My interpretation of what they believe led me to conclude that I had to give up a lot to please God. No one explicitly said, “You have to give this up,” and then handed me a list. It was just how I understood what they were teaching. In fact, there were members of that church who felt fine reading and watching what, over time, my brain would try to convince me was objectionable.

Extreme Conservatism Begins

The boy I reference in my post Why Can’t Real Life Be More Like the Movies? was actually a member of that church. And the last time I checked, he was on track to become a leader in that church.

I remember, we used to have arguments about what was and wasn’t appropriate for us in entertainment, especially music and movies. Even though I had already given up some things at this point, I was still more liberal than he was. But, over the years, I saw myself becoming more and more conservative. That didn’t settle well with me.

I started having trouble enjoying simple shows and movies from my childhood. Over time, less and less was able to make it through my brain’s filter, and my options for entertainment were growing slimmer.

I saw where that path was headed, so I said enough. I have to go back. I have to remember when things were different. I have to remember when I felt like me and just enjoyed what I enjoyed without overthinking it.

What I Found

As I read in my journals about the way I felt God loved me even as I enjoyed my simple pleasures, I see that it wasn’t Him telling me to give anything up. It was my brain’s interpretation of what I was hearing at church and reading in the Scriptures. And, of course, it didn’t help that I would occasionally hear leaders of all denominations telling their parishioners to “be careful what you let in.”

While this may be true to a certain extent, one thing I know about INFJs is that they already tend to have high morals. So, they already have their own filtering system that allows in only or chiefly what will benefit them one way or another.

Instead of paying attention to why I enjoyed what I enjoyed, I started getting fixated on all these little, irrelevant details and it became hard for me to push past them, especially with all those religious voices in my head shouting at me. I believe there was a reason I went to that strict church, but I don’t believe the reason was for me to lose myself.

How I Choose To Live Now

I’ve finally come to the conclusion that what God wants is for me to be happy. I think that’s what He wants for all His children. And if watching something or listening to something or reading something makes me happy—and it’s not causing harm to myself or anyone else—I don’t believe He would disapprove of it.

It’s the harm aspect that needs to be emphasized when church leaders say people need to filter what they allow in. But even that’s a gray area, one I will not be going into in this post.

The way I see it, no matter what I like, someone is going to think it’s fine and someone is going to have a problem with it. But I can’t let their opinions control how I live my life. All that matters is what I think is appropriate.

And that’s where I am now on my journey of rediscovery—figuring out what I think is appropriate according to what God Himself has taught me and not my interpretation of other people’s rules.

Now it’s your turn. What are the signs that tell you it’s time for a journey of rediscovery?

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: June 23, 2022