How Do You Know It's Time To Go on a Journey of Self-Discovery?

Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash

My post What Is a Journey of Self-Discovery Like for an INFJ? discusses the way I see self-discovery from the perspective of an INFJ. But how do you know it’s time to begin this kind of journey?

A Disconnect

One way you know it’s time is when you feel a disconnect between who you are now and who you’re supposed to be. Sometimes life forces us into molds. For a while, these molds can feel right and even natural. But at some point, you may come to a place where something doesn’t feel right.

Maybe you discover that your job doesn’t make you as happy as you thought it would. Maybe you find yourself disagreeing with an authority figure in your life. Or maybe you realize you’ve been speaking with someone else’s voice instead of your own.

When that happens, it’s time to stop and ask yourself, “Where is this disconnect coming from?” And then you’ll have to search deep for the answers. That’s when your journey of self-discovery begins.

The Hardest Part of the Journey

The way to search for and find the answers will be different for everyone. For me, I’ve had to ask myself hard questions—questions about what I really think and believe. But answering those questions and making new discoveries about yourself is only the first part of a journey of self-discovery. Next comes the hard part—living those discoveries.

This part is hard for multiple reasons. One of them is habit. You’re used to living one way, and now you have to live in a new way. Considering how hard it is to break habits, it’s understandable why this would be challenging.

But I think the most challenging aspect of this part of the journey is the other people around you when you take it. Those people may not want to encourage your change and growth because they’re used to seeing you a certain way. Unless they always knew there was more to you than what you presented to the world, they might not appreciate you trying to break out of your mold.

Additionally, the people who taught you to hold onto beliefs and ways of thinking that are foreign to you might still have a strong presence in your life or might still be influencing you in some way, even if it’s only in your mind. Learning to live what you believe even if it goes against what you’ve been taught and what the people around you believe is no easy feat. But to be truly and completely yourself, you must develop this skill.

Being Me

One thing I noticed when I started just thinking about living as the real me was that I kept asking myself, “What will these people think if I do this?” And this wasn’t just about what my friends and family would think. I would often ask this about people I didn’t know or hadn’t met, but people I knew would have an opinion.

Eventually, though, I had to come to a place where I stopped caring what they would think. I can’t live my life trying to meet other people’s expectations of who I should be. The only opinions that truly matter to me now are mine and those of my Higher Power. And the way I see it, my Higher Power gave me permission to be me by making me the way I am.

Final Thoughts

As I discover new parts of myself on my journey of self-discovery, I fully intend to live those out. I know it’s hard to be different, but conforming is no longer an option. And since INFJs are considered one of the rarest personality types, if you are an INFJ, conformity won’t work for you either. You were born to be different. So, be different.

If you find yourself stuck in life, wondering what to do, now would be the perfect time to go on a journey of self-discovery. You don’t even have to leave the house to find yourself. All you need is curiosity and a willingness to change.

Now it’s your turn. What signs do you find point to the need for a journey of self-discovery?

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: December 21, 2023