How To Use Writing To Start a New Life

Photo by Jessica Lewis on Unsplash

When starting a new life, it’s important to get clear on what you’re hoping your new life will look like. That’s where writing comes in.

You may have a vague idea of what kind of life you want to live now, but writing takes the vagueness out of that idea. It forces you to come face-to-face with who you are and what you want. And it helps you stay accountable by serving as a reference for any time you get sidetracked or have a crucial decision to make.

Whether you prefer writing by hand or typing on the computer or your phone, writing can help you get a handle on what didn’t work in your old life and what you want to do differently this time. So, as you embark on this adventure, take time to write or journal about the following topics.

What To Write Down When Starting Over

1. A Picture of the Life You Want

   This is probably the most important thing to write down when starting a new life. It’s possible your old life didn't live up to your expectations because you didn't know what those expectations were. Now you have a better idea, so take time to write them down.
   
   It’s also possible that your expectations and desires changed over time. If so, write down your new ones.
   
   But it’s also possible that you have no idea what you want now, you just know you want something different. That’s fine, too. If that’s the case, take time alone to evaluate your desires and priorities.
   
   Figure out what you really want out of life. What moves you in the depths of your being? What do you want to be doing every day? What would make you happy? And not just moderately happy but over-the-moon happy? If you’ve never gone on a journey of self-discovery, now would be the time to do it.
   
   Taking time to ponder these things and visualize the life you want can help you gain clarity about how to move forward. And as you move forward, you’ll gain more clarity. And the more clarity you have about your dream life, the easier it will be to build it.

2. Lessons You’ve Learned

   All of us have made mistakes, but they don't have to stay in the mistake category if we learn something from them. Most likely, those mistakes contributed to you living a life that was less than ideal for you. But don’t beat yourself up over that. In fact, congratulate yourself on your willingness to grow and change.
   
   By pausing to reflect on the lessons you’ve learned, you'll be able to avoid making those mistakes in the future and, thus, live a more rewarding life.
   
   Maybe you worked in a job that led to burnout. Now you know you need to have more balance in your life. Or maybe you worked in an unfulfilling job. Now you know you need work more aligned with your purpose.
   
   Or maybe you’ve felt unfulfilled in your relationships, romantic or otherwise. Maybe your relationships have been shallow or short-term and you want something deeper or longer-lasting. Take note of what led to the unfulfilling relationships so you can find more fulfilling ones in the future.
   
   I believe there are few mistakes from which we learn nothing. No matter how bad they may have been, if you can glean something of value from them, they can actually help you become a better and more authentic you.

3. Your Beliefs

   I talk in this post about how to get clear on your beliefs, especially spiritual ones. Even if you haven’t just been through a spiritual crisis—though that could definitely be a reason you want to start over—it’s important to know what you believe.
   
   Beliefs are crucial because they dictate how we live our lives. And I’m not only talking about spiritual beliefs here, though those are foundational. I’m also talking about beliefs about time, life, love, family, work, money, and anything else that’s important to you.
   
   If you take the time to write out your beliefs and find that certain ones are keeping you from moving forward or living the life you crave, you can change them. This article talks more about identifying your limiting beliefs and how to replace them with empowering ones.
   
   Once you know what your beliefs really are or become aware of new beliefs you want to cultivate, you can let go of a lot of what may have been holding you back before. This will allow you to step into your new life with confidence. And you won’t be easily swayed by outside voices, however well-intentioned they may be.

4. Your Values

   It’s also important to know what you value. For instance, do you value travel or stability? If you travel, do you prefer to travel alone or with company? Do you value trying exotic cuisines or do you prefer familiar foods? Do you value solitude or do you need constant human interaction?
   
   Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? Do you feel you need to be close to your family or are you ok checking in with them from a distance? Do you prefer having one job or are you fine with multiple sources of income? Do you need a lot of friends or will just a few do? Do you value peace or are you ok with some noise?
   
   Also consider the qualities you most value in people. While qualities like trustworthiness, honesty, kindness, reliability, and generosity are all valuable, you may value some more than others. And there may be some more specific to you, like a good sense of humor, confidence, spontaneity, or boldness.
   
   Keeping these values in mind will help you know what to look for when forming new relationships in your new life. And they’ll also help you know which opportunities to embrace and which to turn down.

5. Your Goals

   You should have an idea of what you hope to get out of this new life of yours. Of course you want a fresh start, which is why you’re starting over in the first place. But how drastic do you want this fresh start to be?
   
   Are you moving to a different country to experience a whole new way of life—maybe one more compatible with your personality or values? Or will simple modifications to your current life be enough?
   
   Do you want to uncover your hidden adventurous spirit or do you just want to approach life with more confidence and have better relationships? Do you want more excitement or do you want to live a slower-paced life? Or do you just want more time for pleasure and leisure?
   
   Write down exactly what you hope to get out of this fresh start. Odds are, you will get much more out of this experience than you planned, but it’s nice to have an idea of what you’re aiming for.
   
   And speaking of planning, you might also want to write down…

6. Your Plan

   I’ll be the first to say that I am not one who works well with a concrete plan. I prefer a more “trust your intuition” approach to life. But I do also acknowledge the benefits of having some idea of what you would like to accomplish. That helps you know what your next step should be.
   
   For instance, if you plan to change jobs, how are you going to do it? Are you going to make inquiries through your contacts? Are you going back to school? Are you going to do all your learning through videos and information available online? Through books? A combination? Or are you going to go on a journey of self-discovery so you can have more clarity on the job you really want?
   
   Or maybe you don’t want to change what you do but where you do it. Maybe you’ve had enough of city life and want to work somewhere slower-paced. Where do you want to go? Do you need a visa? Do you speak the language?
   
   How are you going to find a place to live? Are you going to rent or buy? Do you have enough money to move now or do you want to have more savings first? Check out this story from CNBC to learn about the steps one person took to start a new life abroad.
   
   Or maybe you really do just want to look at a map, pick a location, buy a one-way ticket there, and go where the winds carry you. If that’s your decision, far be it from me to stop you. Just know that this option will require flexibility, adaptability, and an open mind. If these aren’t qualities you currently possess, you might want to take a little more time to plan before you go.

I think we all sometimes wish we could go back in time and start over from the beginning or some place in the past. But until someone invents a time machine, we’ll have to settle for starting a new life from where we are now.

Writing is a great way to become more aware of why we’re really undertaking this journey and what we hope to gain from it. This writing could be in a notebook or a notepad or a notepad app. Whatever your preference, as you start your life over, make sure to take time to reflect on your goals and vision. And refer back to them often whenever you need guidance, making changes as needed.

Now I turn it to you. How do you think writing can help people start a new life?

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: June 23, 2022