How Do You Write a Love Letter to Your Crush?

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Writing a love letter to your crush is very different from writing a love letter to someone you’re in a relationship with. While terms of endearment, flowery language, and shared romantic memories are commonplace in letters between couples, they don’t really have a place in crush love letters.

If you’re writing a love letter to your crush, my guess is you’re either planning to confess your feelings to this person or you’d like to ask them out. Here, I’m going to give you some guidance on how to do both without coming on too strong.

(If you’re writing a letter to your crush for any other reason, let me know in the comments.)

How to Write a Love Letter to Your Crush

1. Make sure this is someone who would appreciate a love letter.

   If you’re going to spend your valuable time pouring your heart and soul into a love letter (or email), please make sure you’re writing to someone who you know will take the time to read it.
   
   This isn’t true of everyone. Some people may get your letter, ideally thank you for it, and then either skim it or not read it at all. This could be because they’re just too busy or because this isn’t their preferred communication method. They might also be intimidated by all the words on the page.
   
   So, before you try writing your crush a love letter, make sure the person you’re writing to would appreciate one. If they’re someone of the INFJ personality type, there should be no problems there. In fact, I include that as a suggestion in this post about how to tell an INFJ you like them.
   
   But as long as the person you like is an old soul, someone who does things slower than most, or someone who you know deeply values the written word, you should be good to go.

2. If you’re writing this letter by hand, start with the date.

   If you’re writing this letter through email, you don’t have to worry about writing the date on it. But if this is a handwritten letter, you should date it. Your crush—who, we’ve already established, appreciates the written word—will want to know exactly when you found the courage to pen them this letter.

3. Address them by their name.

   Love letters written to partners often start with terms of endearment like, “To my beloved” or “My dearest Bartholomew.” Don’t do that in a love letter to a crush. Keep it nice and simple. Just say, “Dear So-and-so” and then begin.

4. Mention something neutral.

   You can begin your letter by stating how long you’ve known your crush. You can even remind them how you two met or mention a pleasant memory you share.
   
   The idea is to start off on a neutral note. You don’t want to start off with a strong emotional charge by, for instance, confessing right away or asking your crush out on a date. With love letters, pacing is everything.
   
   If you begin too strong, your crush may not even be able to finish reading your letter because of the emotional shock they’ve just received. And if they do finish, they probably won’t be able to absorb what they read until much later.
   
   By starting off with something neutral, you give yourself a chance to build up to that confession or request. And you make it easier for your crush to absorb and digest all you have to say.

5. Talk about what you like about them.

   Don’t go into too much detail here. Don’t list 50 of the qualities you most admire in this person. I would say you probably don’t want to mention more than three to five.
   
   While this person may have many admirable traits you would love to state, you may overwhelm them if you put them all into one letter.
   
   You may be able to get away with mentioning more traits if you’ve known this person for a long time. But you’ll still want to keep your list to a reasonable length.

6. Confess how you feel.

   If you’re using this letter to confess your feelings, now is the moment of truth. It’s time to tell this person as plainly and clearly as you can that you like them.
   
   As with all aspects of this letter, you don’t want to use flowery language here. You don’t want to risk your feelings getting mixed up in your attempts to sound as poetic or Shakespearean as possible. Just tell them how you feel, then move on to the next step.
   
   But if you don’t know this person well or you don’t yet feel comfortable expressing your feelings so directly, you can skip this step.

7. Ask them to respond.

   This is why it’s so important that you write your letter to someone who’ll appreciate it (see #1). You want to make sure they read all the way through to this section. This is the second-most important part of the letter if you’re confessing your feelings. If you’re just wanting to ask your crush out, it’s the most important part.
   
   If this is a confession letter, ask this person how they feel. If you don’t want to ask them directly, though, you can ask them on a date instead. And if you’re not confessing at all, you can go straight into asking them out. If they accept or reject your offer, that should be all the response you need.
   
   If you do ask them how they feel, though, they may not give you a straight answer. Instead, they may tell you they need more time to process their feelings. If so, give them more time.

8. End your letter simply but respectfully.

   In a love letter to a partner, you can end with phrases like, “Affectionately yours,” “Hugs and kisses,” and “Yours truly.” In a letter to a crush, just “Love” will do. You might even want to say “Sincerely” if you feel like you’re not yet close enough to end with “Love.” That’s up to you.
   
   If you know this person well and you’ve written letters to them before with other closings, you may be able to use one of them here. But if you’ve used those closings in a playful way before, you may want to avoid them now. This letter is serious, and you want this person to know that.

You may notice that love letters to crushes are usually shorter than love letters to partners. This is because there’s so much more detail you can include about the romantic aspects of your relationship when you’re writing to someone you’re in a relationship with.

When you’re writing a love letter to someone you’re crushing on, you’re more limited in what you can write. Plus, you want your message to come across as clearly as possible. So, it’s important to state only the most essential things in this letter.

When you’re in a relationship with this person or when they’ve at least told you they have feelings for you, too, feel free to use all the flowery, Shakespearean language you like.

Sample Letters

Below, I include two sample crush love letters. The only difference between them is that, in the first, the letter is written to someone the author doesn’t know well. In the second, they’re well-acquainted.

I find that this makes a huge difference where matters of the heart are concerned. That’s why, in this post, I consider it the main factor that determines when someone should confess their feelings to someone else.

In fact, I suggest not openly confessing feelings to someone you don’t really know yet. Instead, it’s better to ask them on a date so you can get to know them better. But, ultimately, the decision on when to confess is up to you.

Sample letter for someone you don’t know well:

Dear Beatrice,

I know we only met two weeks ago at that web designers’ conference, but I’ve really enjoyed texting with you ever since. I’m writing you this email because I wanted to tell you that I think you’re a great person. You’re a lot of fun to talk to and your texts always make me smile.

I was just wondering, would you like to go out with me sometime? I think we could have fun together. Let me know what you think.

Sincerely,
Winston

Sample letter for someone you’re well-acquainted with:

Dear Bartholomew,

I feel like I’ve known you forever. I still remember that day we met in Mr. Fields’ first grade class. I know sometimes it seems like it was ages ago, but to me it feels like it was just yesterday.

I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I love your laugh. Or how much I’ve appreciated our friendship over the years. You’ve always been there for me, in good times and bad. You’ve been such a faithful friend, and I’ve treasured every moment we’ve spent together.

I just wanted you to know that I love you. I’ve always loved you. I don’t know why it took me so long to find the courage to say that to you, but now I’ve said it. And I was wondering, is it at all possible that you feel the same way? Let me know as soon as you can.

Love,
Constance

Now it’s your turn. How would you write a love letter to your crush? Or if you’ve written a love letter to a crush, how did it go?

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: March 18, 2024