Does Confessing Help You Move On from a Crush?

Photo by Angèle Kamp on Unsplash

In this post, I offer five tips for moving on from an unrequited crush. (The post is written for people of the INFJ personality type, but the advice is good for anyone.) One of those tips is to tell your crush how you feel. And that’s because it’s one of the best ways to move on from a crush.

But before I get into the why, I need to point out the exceptions. If the person you’re crushing on is very out-of-reach, doesn’t want anything to do with you, or doesn’t treat you well, I would advise you not to confess to them.

In the first two cases, your efforts to make them hear you may actually cause you more pain. And in the last case, your efforts may only prompt this person to take advantage of you. If you want to avoid these outcomes, save your confession for someone who’s worthy of it.

And now, here are four reasons confessing to your crush can help you move on.

4 Reasons Confessing to Your Crush Can Help You Move On

1. It takes your crush from the realm of fantasy and brings it into reality.

   Often, crushes persist because we spend a lot of time fantasizing about our crush. We imagine how wonderful it would be to know they like us back. We imagine all the things we could do together.
   
   These fantasies, played on endless replay, can allow crushes to continue even when you and your crush aren’t actually compatible in real life. But the only way to know whether you’re compatible or not is to bring your feelings into the real world. One way to do this is by confessing.
   
   Once real feelings are expressed, if it turns out your crush feels the same way about you, you allow a real relationship to form instead of the fantasy one in your mind. Or else you learn that your feelings were based on the idea of your crush rather than the real person. Knowing this will make it easier to let go of your romantic feelings for them.
   
   But either way, taking your crush out of the hypothetical space can help you take whatever next step you need to, to move forward in real life.

2. It allows your crush to share how they feel.

   Though it may seem terrifying to put your heart out there and tell your crush you like them, that’s one of the best ways to encourage them to share their own feelings. They may like you, too, but they may be too scared to share their feelings with you. So, they keep quiet about them.
   
   If you confess first, you’re making it easier for them to come clean. And if they reciprocate, you’re also allowing a new relationship to blossom.
   
   But even if it turns out that they don’t feel the same way, knowing this can be immensely helpful for moving on. Now you don’t have to ask yourself “What if?” about what would have happened if you had confessed. You don’t have to wonder how they feel.
   
   Although this response will still hurt at first, in the long run it will help you heal faster than you might have otherwise. But if you do find yourself regretting your confession, this post might help.

3. You get to remove the weight of the feelings you’ve been harboring.

   This is especially true when your crush is a friend. Harboring secret feelings for a friend can make it hard to remain just friends. And things can get awkward fast when your friend starts talking to you about their crushes.
   
   But even if your crush isn’t a good friend, carrying around secret feelings for them can become a huge burden. It can be really nice to release that burden and put your feelings out there with a confession.
   
   While there are many other ways to release these emotions, like journaling or writing songs or poetry, I find confessing to be the best one. And if you’re an INFJ who needs help confessing your love to a friend, you might find this post helpful.

4. Confessing might prompt your crush to see you differently.

   It’s possible your crush never saw you as anything more than a friend and thought you felt the same about them. But if you confess, they may see you differently.
   
   Even if they hadn’t before, they may start to consider whether you would make a good romantic partner for them. And if they see potential, you might actually be able to start a relationship with them—if you’re both up for it. I think that would be cause for celebration.
   
   As I mentioned in the three previous reasons, moving on from a crush doesn’t always mean that you have to stop loving that person, or loving them so much. It could mean that, instead of being just a crush, now they’re your romantic partner. Now, doesn’t that possibility prompt you to want to confess?

What to Take Away

Confessing your feelings to a crush does make it easier to move on from the crush. It allows you to bring your feelings into the real world and release the weight of all those hidden emotions.

Moving on from a crush can mean moving on from loving them romantically. But it could also mean that you two enter a relationship because you allowed your crush to reveal that they have feelings for you, too.

In the event that you can’t confess your feelings to your crush, you can use multiple outlets for your feelings, like journaling or writing songs or poetry. Since feelings for a crush can become overwhelming, it’s important to have some way to let them out. But, in my opinion, confessing is the best way to do that—when possible.

Still, as I always say, at the end of the day it’s your life and it’s your heart. So, you decide what you do with them.

Now I turn it to you. Do you think confessing helps you move on from a crush? Why or why not?

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: January 29, 2024