The Power of Writing a Letter to an INFJ

Photo by Aleksander Fox on Unsplash

We INFJs are very fond of the written word. We often find it easier to communicate our thoughts in writing because it gives us time to think through what we want to say before sharing it. And in addition to expressing ourselves in writing, we love to see others do the same.

In fact, there are times when you might actually want to reach out to an INFJ in writing over other forms of communication, like in-person talks, phone calls, or social media. To get you started, here are six scenarios where a letter might be a great way to communicate your thoughts and feelings (romantic or otherwise) to an INFJ.

6 Potential Reasons to Write an INFJ a Letter

1. To confess your feelings to them.

   Many INFJs are hopeless romantics who still greatly value handwritten letters. If you really want to warm your INFJ’s heart when you confess your feelings to them, tell them in writing. You don’t have to write this confession letter by hand, though. You could send them an email where you share your feelings.
   
   Just try to express those feelings as clearly as you can before giving them your letter or pushing Send. Clarity will help you immensely in this endeavor. And also know that INFJs aren’t really looking for poetry in the letter, just authenticity. As long as you express yourself in a way that feels authentic to you, they’ll be happy. (But it doesn’t hurt to be poetic if you can!)

2. To respond to their love confession.

   If your INFJ confesses their feelings to you, you might consider responding to their confession in writing—especially if they confessed in writing.
   
   If they confessed to you in person, you would be doing them a big favor by responding right away in person. But if you told them you need time to process your feelings, it might be a good idea to respond to them in writing once you know how you feel. This is especially true if you find that you don’t feel the same way.
   
   But if you do feel the same way, you might forgo the letter and just tell them in person. And if you’re too nervous to do that, again, a letter might just be the way to go.

3. To reconnect after you haven’t talked in a while.

   If there’s a special INFJ in your life but you haven’t communicated to them in a while, they would appreciate you sending them a letter to reconnect. INFJs tend not to be too fond of phone calls and they tend to reserve texting for less in-depth conversations. But writing them a letter would be a great way to tell them you were thinking about them, to let them know what you’ve been up to, and to ask them what they’ve been up to.
   
   What’s really nice about a letter is that it allows them to respond to all that you tell them at their leisure. They don’t have to clear their schedule to talk to you on the phone and they don’t have to wait for your responses to their texts. Plus, writing a letter allows them to respond to you coherently. They’ll most likely need time to recover from the surprise of hearing from you after so long.

4. To stay in touch.

   Again, INFJs love letters. A great way to keep in touch with an INFJ you don’t see often is to write them letters. And you don’t have to write to them often. Once in a while will do. Just make sure your letters are worth the wait. The longer the better, so long as they’re thoughtful and genuine.

5. To apologize.

   If you did something that you know hurt or offended an INFJ, you might want to apologize to them in writing. This is especially true if they seem reluctant to talk to you in person or aren’t responding to your texts. They might be unwilling to read short-form text from you, but if you take the time to compose an email where you apologize sincerely, they might be more willing to listen.
   
   And if you don’t think they’ll read even a nice email from you, now might be the time to pull out a pen and paper and send them a handwritten letter. Just seeing this gesture is likely to cause their heart to soften toward you, making it easier for them to forgive you.

6. To tell them you care.

   Whether the INFJ in your life is a friend, family member, or romantic partner, writing them a letter would be a great way to tell them you love them. You don’t need a special occasion to do this. All you need is the desire to tell your INFJ how special they are to you.
   
   And don’t hold back in this letter. Go ahead and tell them everything you value about them. You can even make reference to specific things they’ve said or done if you want to. Just keep in mind, as with all the items on this list, being genuine matters more than the specific words you choose. So, write from your heart.

Final Thoughts

Not everyone appreciates the value of the written word, especially when we’re talking about long-form writing. But if you’re looking for someone who will treasure every sincere word you share with them in writing, you’ll find that in INFJs. So, the next time you need to communicate something to them, consider doing it in a letter.

Now it’s your turn. Can you think of other reasons you might want to write a letter to an INFJ? Let me know in the comments.

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: January 29, 2024