8 Possible Reasons the INFJ in Your Life Stopped Texting You

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If an INFJ likes you as a friend, they will generally be very responsive to your texts. And if they like you as more than a friend, they’ll be even more responsive.

But there are times when an INFJ will stop responding to your texts (or take forever to respond) even when you think you have a good relationship going. If they haven’t told you why, here are eight reasons you might want to consider.

8 Reasons an INFJ Might Stop Responding to Texts

1. They lost their phone or had it taken away.

   I just figured I would put this on the list because it is a reason an INFJ would stop responding to your texts. INFJs aren’t perfect. We lose things like everyone else. And a phone could be one of those things.
   
   As I’m sure you know, it’s pretty hard to text someone without a phone—unless you borrow someone else’s, but the likelihood of that is slim.
   
   Young INFJs can also do things their parents don’t like, and their punishment could be no phone for a while. So, don’t be quick to assume your INFJ stopped responding because of anything you did.
   
   If you can, wait a few days to see if they text you back eventually. And if not, you can try to reach out to them a different way.

2. They’re super busy.

   Even with a busy schedule, we INFJs will take the time to respond to texts from those we care about. But we also have a tendency to get caught up in things, like causes we deeply support.
   
   If an INFJ has become super busy because they’re absorbed in something they see as greater than them, for example, they may forget to text you or take a long time to get back to you. They may also forget to eat and sleep, too, so just know they’re not selectively neglecting you.
   
   But you may want to check on them if you suspect this could be the reason they’ve stopped responding and encourage them to practice self-care.

3. They’re dealing with something serious.

   If an INFJ is dealing with a medical emergency, a family crisis, a strong wave of depression, or any other serious matter, they may either forget to text you or just not have the will to respond to your texts.
   
   If you happen to find out they’re dealing with something serious, try to offer any love and support you can. But also remember to give them space if they need it.

4. They’ve discovered something about you that doesn’t settle well with them.

   We INFJs take our values very seriously. So, if an INFJ is in any sort of relationship with someone and they discover something unsettling about them—like something that goes against their values—they might stop responding to that person’s texts. Or they may only respond occasionally to be polite.
   
   They may also cut them out of their life completely by door-slamming them (more on that in #6). But that depends on how unsettling they find this discovery.
   
   They may not volunteer why they’ve stopped responding, though. You may have to ask them. And when you do and you really listen to how they feel, you can discuss where you two will go from here.

5. They’re really angry with you.

   If you forgot a birthday or an important event, an INFJ probably won’t stop texting you—unless it’s the tenth or twentieth time you’ve forgotten something important. But usually they’ll just be a little colder toward you until they forgive you. That can definitely lead to delayed texts.
   
   If, however, you hurt or offended them in some way, they may stop responding to your texts. If you think this might be the case, take a moment to reflect on your recent interactions together. Is there anything you did or said that they might have perceived as hurtful or offensive?
   
   Were you unkind to one of their friends? Did you leave them alone at a party? Did you criticize one of their values? This last one is a big one because, as mentioned in #4, values are very important to INFJs.
   
   But if there’s anything you think you should apologize for, go ahead and apologize. You can do that by text, but it might be better in person or on the phone.

6. They’ve door-slammed you.

   This takes #5 to a whole different level. For an INFJ to door slam you, you would have had to hurt or offend them consistently for a long time, without apologizing sincerely or showing any signs of changing. (If they’re still responding to you at all, they most likely haven’t door-slammed you.)
   
   It takes a while for an INFJ to decide to door slam someone. So, know that if they do this, it’s not a decision they made on a whim and it’s not something that can be fixed overnight. They’ve probably even tried to fix your relationship or tell you what was wrong many times, but you wouldn’t listen.
   
   So, if you’re hoping to repair your relationship at this point, a text isn’t going to cut it. Instead, you’re going to have to do serious damage control, and it may take weeks or months to re-establish a good relationship if your INFJ is willing to go there with you. If you need advice on how to proceed, you can read this post, which can also help with #5.

7. They’re trying to spare your feelings.

   Say, for instance, you told your INFJ friend that you like them but they only see you as a friend. You may have told them you don’t mind continuing the friendship, and they may have agreed.
   
   But over time, they may have come to feel that they’re only hurting you by continuing to be your friend. So, they may try to put some distance between you two, which includes not responding to your texts or not responding as quickly or frequently.
   
   If they decide to do this, they’ll probably let you know in advance so it doesn’t seem so sudden. But not all INFJs have reached this level of maturity, so they may do it without warning.
   
   If you sense this is the reason your INFJ stopped texting you, you should try an alternate way of reaching out to them and have a serious heart-to-heart conversation about how you both feel.
   
   If you still decide to continue the friendship after that, make sure you have clear boundaries in place. Otherwise, you might have to deal with confusing or conflicting emotions, which leads to…

8. They’re conflicted about your relationship.

   Relationships are complicated things. When people are friends, for instance, they may be very close, which can sometimes blur the line between friends and more-than-friends. Throw in terms of endearment or physical affection, and the confusion increases.
   
   If an INFJ is conflicted about their feelings for you, they may stop responding to your texts as they try to sort things out.
   
   If you sense this could be why your INFJ stopped texting you, try to find a different way to communicate and openly discuss where you two stand. Clarity and communication are key to healthy relationships.

Final Thoughts

There are actually many reasons why an INFJ would stop texting someone or take forever to respond. This is a list of just eight possible ones. But, if nothing else, I hope now you understand that INFJs don’t usually just forget to respond to someone’s texts for no particular reason.

If they care about you, they will respond—usually in a timely fashion. So, if they’ve stopped responding or take a long time to respond, you might want to check in using an alternate communication method to see what’s going on.

Now it’s your turn. What are some reasons you can think of for why an INFJ would stop responding to someone’s texts?

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: September 22, 2023