10 Texts the INFJ in Your Life Would Love to Get

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INFJs are very fond of the written word. For those INFJs who appreciate the value of texting, text messages are no exception to this fondness.

If there’s an INFJ in your life who’s very special to you, there are certain texts they would love to get from you. Some of the following texts would be fine for a friend, close family member, or significant other. But some should be reserved only for your beloved.

10 Texts to Send to the Special INFJ in Your Life

1. “Hey, how are you doing?”

   Often, we INFJs don’t want to burden other people with our problems. We’re willing to listen to everyone else’s, but somehow we think we’re inconveniencing others when we admit something is wrong or when we just need to talk.
   
   When you send this text, it’s a nice reminder to your INFJ that you actually care about how they’re doing. And you invite them to open up if something is wrong.
   
   Just know that if you send this text, you need to be willing to listen if your INFJ wants to talk afterwards. They may just say they’re doing fine and then continue with their day, usually with a brighter smile.
   
   But if they really do have something they need to share or talk to someone about, let them know you’re available. If you don’t have time when you send the text, though, just tell them when would be a good time to talk.

2. “I was just thinking about you.”

   If you’re in a romantic relationship with an INFJ, know that they will be thinking about you often. They would consider it a wonderful gift to know you were thinking about them, too. So, don’t be shy about texting them these words when your INFJ crosses your mind.
   
   You can also let your INFJ know if something specific you saw or something that happened reminded you of them. Anything you tell them to let them know they were in your thoughts will be welcome.

3. “I’m so grateful for you.”

   Sometimes we INFJs can be really hard on ourselves. We tend to be perfectionistic, pushing ourselves to extremes and setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves.
   
   To know that someone we care about is grateful for us in spite of all our flaws and imperfections would be a great reminder to us that we don’t have to push ourselves so hard. We’re lovable just the way we are.

4. “I’m going to the store. Do you need anything?”

   This is a thoughtful text. It says, in effect, “I know you’re busy and may not have time to go to the store today. So, can I help you out by getting something you need?”
   
   INFJs can have a lot of trouble asking for help. By offering your INFJ help—even in this seemingly small way—you’re taking some of the burdens of life off their shoulders. And this is a terrific reminder to them that they’re not dealing with things on their own.

5. “I know we planned to go out this evening, but would you rather stay in?”

   I think most introverts would love to receive this kind of text, and INFJs are no exception. If you get the sense that your INFJ would rather spend a cozy night in instead of a somewhat hectic night out, go ahead and make this offer.
   
   Just make sure you also don’t mind staying in. If you had been looking forward to going out and will only reluctantly stay in, this might not be the best offer to make.

6. “You’ve seemed a little tired/stressed lately. Is there anything I can take off your plate so you have more time to relax?”

   Like with the text in #4, this one is considerate. It lets your INFJ know that you care about their wellbeing and are willing to lend a hand to ensure they look after themselves. This kind of gesture will always endear you to an INFJ.
   
   But only make this offer if taking something more on won’t add stress to your plate. If you can’t actually help your INFJ in this way, at least encourage them to lighten their own load so they have time to relax.

7. “I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time around people recently. Do you want to cancel our plans this weekend so you can have some alone time?”

   This text lets an INFJ know that, not only are you paying attention to their needs, but you’re willing to make sacrifices so they can meet them. Like all introverts, INFJs love and greatly value their alone time. Not only that—they need it to thrive.
   
   If you’ve noticed your INFJ has been around people too much, send them this text to let them know you value them enough to change your plans for them. You can reschedule them for when your INFJ is feeling more energized and less peopled out.
   
   Also note that if you’re living with an INFJ and you feel they haven’t had much time alone in the house, you can instead offer to give them some hours to themselves. (You don’t have to text this message, though.) This can happen if you’re both teleworking, for instance.
   
   The thing is, if you don’t give your INFJ some alone time where you actually leave the residence, they may grow resentful.
   
   They won’t usually voice this resent because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. But if they’re not getting much needed alone time, just know that they aren’t happy. Don’t make your INFJ unhappy. Give them some alone time.

8. “I’ve noticed you haven’t been taking much time for yourself lately. Do you want to cancel our plans this weekend so you can take some time for self-care?”

   This text is similar to the previous one, but it takes a more holistic view of an INFJ’s self-care. Sometimes, in an INFJ’s efforts to get all their work done and please everyone they know, they neglect simple things that energize, recharge, and fuel them—things like eating healthy, going out for walks in nature, reading, writing, journaling, listening to music, and other such activities.
   
   Once again, by showing them you’re willing to sacrifice your plans so they can look after their own needs, you’re showing them how much you care about them. And an INFJ who feels cared for this way will be even more motivated to love and care for those around them.
   
   Just know, while INFJs may appreciate this gesture, because of our nature, we may not accept the offer even if we really should. So, if you think your INFJ is in serious need of self-care—including alone time—you might have to insist they take the time for it.

9. “Don’t forget to take breaks while you’re working.”

   We INFJs need these reminders all the time. We sometimes get so consumed with the idea that we need to be productive all day long that we forget to take breaks throughout the day. This inevitably leads to things like fatigue, exhaustion, and burnout.
   
   Sometimes we feel we need permission to take breaks during the day. If you take just a moment to remind your INFJ to do this once in a while, you give them this permission. Plus, it shows them that you know their tendencies and you’re looking out for them. They will love you for that.

10. “I love you.”

    Speaking of love, this text is so simple but the effect can be powerful. While I have strong feelings about confessing love in a text, if a relationship has already been established, I think it’s important to send an “I love you” text every now and then.
    
    Of course, true love can’t only be expressed in words—it must be displayed in consistent actions. But seeing those words once in a while will warm your INFJ’s heart and bring a smile to their face.

Final Thoughts

You might have noticed that a lot of these texts have to do with paying attention to when an INFJ isn’t looking after their needs. This is an all-too-common occurrence for INFJs. So, if someone in our life makes a point to encourage us to take time for self-care, that will endear them to us even more.

Just make sure all your offers are sincere. Don’t offer to help if you have no real help to offer or no time to offer it. But if you can just find a way to let your INFJ know that you love them, value them, and care about their health and wellbeing, do that.

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: January 29, 2024