How Should an INFP Respond to a Love Confession?

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Responding to a love confession isn’t always the easiest thing to do. And while there are some common things everyone should keep in mind when responding, there are also some specific things particular personality types might want to remember as well.

In this post, I talk about how people of the INFJ personality type can respond to a love confession. A lot of the advice I offer in that post applies to INFPs, too. Actually, I find that INFJs and INFPs have a lot in common when it comes to their approach to love. But here, I want to go more into tips that may be helpful for INFPs specifically.

5 Tips to Help INFPs Respond to a Love Confession

1. Don’t let your love of love keep you from being honest.

   INFPs are known to be hopeless romantics. This means they tend to be in love with the idea of love. So, when someone tells an INFP that they like them, the INFP may have trouble responding honestly because they’re so excited at the prospect of experiencing a real relationship.
   
   This excitement may make an INFP forget that they don’t actually have romantic feelings for this person. Or it may make them forget that the two of them aren’t actually compatible, or that this other person doesn’t always treat the INFP with the respect they deserve.
   
   If you’re an INFP who would consider yourself a hopeless romantic, make sure you pause before you respond to someone’s love confession. Really consider if you have real feelings for this person. If you don’t, tell them that (more on that in #4). And if you’re not sure, ask them to give you some time to process your feelings.
   
   But if you’re sure you have romantic feelings for them, let them know. But then also take a moment to prepare yourself for what comes next (more on that in #3).

2. Don’t let your empathy keep you from being honest.

   INFPs are also deeply empathetic. This means they can feel others’ emotions as if they were their own. Empathy itself is a wonderful thing, and it’s something the world could benefit from more of.
   
   But empathy can also make it hard for someone to do something they think might hurt someone else’s feelings. Since they can sense the pain it might cause, they would rather avoid causing it—both for the other person’s sake and their own.
   
   You probably don’t have to worry about empathy keeping you from being honest if your feelings are reciprocal. But if they’re not, you need to be honest with yourself and the other person about how you feel. Even if you know it will hurt them to tell them you don’t like them back, you’re still doing the more merciful thing by telling them the truth now (more on that in #4).
   
   And if you need to have a cry or two afterward because you’re feeling their pain or if you need to distance yourself from this person for a while, do that. Do whatever it takes to help you stay true to yourself.

3. If your feelings are reciprocal, brace yourself for the realities of romance.

   As an INFP, you might have spent a lot of time fantasizing about your idea of an ideal relationship. And I bet all those fantasies are wonderful. But it’s important to remember that real-life relationships are always going to be messier than those we imagine.
   
   Real-life relationships can be filled with wonder and beauty and passion. But they also take work and will require time and patience. If you’re willing to make the necessary effort, you’re preparing yourself to enjoy all the beauty that relationships can bring. And even if your relationship doesn’t match the ideal version in your mind, it can still be wonderful.
   
   And also remember that you don’t have to date this person if you’re not ready to date yet. Maybe you don’t feel emotionally ready to commit to someone yet, or maybe you’re just not in a place in your life where you feel comfortable dating. If you two like each other but you don’t want to start a romantic relationship right now, take time to discuss where you’ll go from here.

4. If your feelings aren’t reciprocal, don’t wait too long to tell them.

   As an INFP, you might feel extremely uncomfortable letting someone down by telling them you don’t feel the same way about them. This extreme discomfort may prompt you to want to hold off on responding at all. But let me tell you, the longer you wait to respond, the harder it will be to tell the truth—and the more likely it is that you may forgo responding altogether.
   
   Not responding to a love confession is actually more painful than rejecting someone, and I talk about why in this post. While a rejection may hurt the other person initially, in the long-run, it will help them move on.
   
   Since INFPs have a reputation for being kind people, they should try not to forget that the kind thing to do when responding to someone’s love confession is to tell them the truth, even if it might be painful to hear.

5. If your feelings aren’t reciprocal, consider responding in a letter.

   INFPs tend to be gifted writers. If you’re an INFP who has to, sadly, break someone’s heart by telling them you don’t feel the same way after they confess their feelings to you, consider letting them down in a letter. Use your gift for the written word to tell them how it makes you feel that you can’t return this person’s love.
   
   But also tell them, as gently as you can, that you don’t feel the same way and don’t want to lead them on. If you want, you can also remind them that there’s someone out there who will return their affection. And if you feel comfortable remaining friends, you can tell them that, too.
   
   No matter how you put it, a rejection is always going to sting a little. But if you use your eloquent writing to deliver the message, it might just make the rejection hurt less. Even so, I would only consider this method if you think the person you’re responding to will take the time to read your letter.

What to Take Away

INFPs have a tremendous capacity for love. But if you’re an INFP and someone has just told you “I like you” or “I love you,” don’t be afraid to pause before responding. And when you know how you feel, don’t be afraid to say how you feel, even if you think you might hurt another person’s feelings.

In reality, telling the truth is the kind thing to do after a love confession. And if your feelings do happen to be reciprocal, brace yourself for all the joys (and realities) of true love.

Now I turn it to you. How do you think INFPs should respond to a love confession? Let me know in the comments.

~ Ashley C.

Last Updated: April 28, 2023