5 Tips for Getting Over Unrequited Love at Work

Photo by Danielle Cerullo on Unsplash

Unrequited love can be hard to get over even without the complications of having to work and interact constantly with the person you love. But when you throw those complications in, moving on can become even more of a challenge.

If you’re having trouble getting over an unrequited crush at work, you might find the following five tips helpful.

5 Tips for Moving On from Unrequited Love at Work

1. If you can, ask your crush on a date.

   I know people don’t encourage office romance because it can make things complicated in the workplace. And some places may actually forbid it. But if it’s possible—and not unethical—for you to date someone you work with, why not try asking them out?
   
   If you’ve only gotten to know your crush in a work setting, there’s a chance that you don’t yet know them well enough to confidently confess your feelings to them. But if you think there’s a potential for romance between you two, you can ask them on a date so you can start to get to know each other in a non-work setting. This way, you can explore any feelings you may have for each other outside of work.
   
   But if you feel you really need to confess your feelings first, far be it from me to stop you. Just do whatever feels right to you.

2. If your crush rejects your offer for a date or doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, have a good cry…or several.

   But maybe you ask your crush on a date and they reject your offer. Or maybe you don’t feel comfortable asking them on a date for some reason. Or maybe you confess your feelings to them but they say they don’t feel the same way. In all these cases, you’ll have to accept the end of any potential for romance between you two, at least in the foreseeable future.
   
   And when something you long for comes to an end, you can’t help but feel the heavy weight of sadness it brings. Don’t be ashamed to let yourself have a good cry or two or ten as you process all this. And don’t feel bad if you’re not your usual, bubbly self for a while. Give yourself the time you need to mourn and heal. This means you need to give yourself permission to cry.
   
   It doesn’t matter if you never actually dated this person. Pain is pain. And unrequited love can hurt. So, cry as much as you need to.

3. If your crush rejects your offer for a date or doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, distance yourself from them as much as possible.

   Workplaces have many different designs these days. Some people go into the office every day, while some people are still working from home. And some people do a little of both. However your workplace is designed, try as much as you can to interact with your crush as little as possible.
   
   If you can choose the groups you work with, try not to be part of groups they’re in. If you can choose the days you go to the office, try not to go in when you know your crush will be there. Don’t sit with or near them at lunch and try to stay away from any office chats involving them.
   
   And if you really can’t avoid your crush at work, at least try to keep your interactions as light as possible. And don’t talk more than is necessary. I know your natural inclination will still be to seek them out for a while. It’s possible they were one of the main sources of brightness in your day. But some form of distance is essential for your healing.
   
   Also know that distancing yourself means you have to stop following them on social media if that’s what you were doing. Don’t try to stay updated on all the events in their life. Don’t check constantly to see what they’re up to. Focus instead on people whose profiles make you feel good or uplifted.
   
   Or, better yet, stay away from social media altogether for a while. It’s possible that, with the sadness you’re feeling, everyone’s updates might make you feel sad, no matter how positive or uplifting they’re intended to be. So, at least for a while, try to focus on your own life and healing.

4. Find a healthy outlet for your emotions.

   This is advice I often give for moving on from an unrequited crush. The emotions you feel are likely to overwhelm you if you let them. That’s why, if your crush doesn’t have feelings for you or you can’t confess to them, you’ll have to find a way to let out all the emotions you still feel and will probably feel for a while.
   
   If you are a naturally creative person, now is the time to put that gift to use. Write a poem or a song about how you’re feeling, or write a story about it. You can even give yourself a happy ending in the story—the kind you wanted in real life. Or you can paint a picture or choreograph a dance that expresses how you feel. Any form of creativity will do.
   
   And if you don’t feel particularly creative, just journaling about your feelings can help tremendously. But however you choose to release your emotions, remember not to censor yourself. Say everything you feel. Don’t hold back. You can talk to friends and family about how you feel, but they might get tired of hearing about it after a while—possibly even long before you’ve moved on. That’s why you have to have a healthy outlet where you can express yourself freely.

5. Find ways to occupy your time.

   In this post, I offer suggestions on the kinds of activities you might want to consider doing as you try to move on from your crush. Although letting out your emotions will be helpful for moving on (see #4), you’ll find that thoughts of your crush persist. They will most likely diminish in frequency and intensity over time once you release the feelings behind them. But as you wait for that to happen, you’ll have to find ways to occupy yourself in your free time.
   
   When it comes to distracting yourself from thoughts of your crush, it’s helpful to do activities that require the active use of both your mind and your body. Just engaging the mind or the body isn’t enough of a distraction, though it can be better than nothing. But to really distract yourself from your thoughts, you have to lose yourself in activities that require all of you to be present.
   
   Sometimes unrequited crushes linger because we don’t have much going on in our lives. This is why, if your schedule has been fairly light recently, now might be the time to stop mindlessly scrolling through social media. Instead, find ways to keep yourself busy beyond the screen.
   
   Take a class or join a club. Or marvel at the wonders of nature on a hike or a camping trip. Or just take an impromptu trip somewhere. Just do something where your mind and body have to be present. If you don’t want to be around lots of people just yet, that’s ok. Find an activity or activities that work for you.

Final Thoughts

Unrequited love at work can be tough to deal with. But if you find yourself having to get over a crush at work, I hope these five tips help. And I hope you’ll soon be on your way to moving on from your crush so you can open your heart to someone new—someone who will reciprocate your feelings.

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: February 17, 2024