The Beauty of an INFJ-INFP Friendship

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

I am of the mind that any two people can make a friendship work if they’re willing to do the work. But in my experience as an INFJ, I’ve also found it easier to form friendships with people of certain personalities than others. And I’ve found INFP friendships to be particularly rewarding.

If you’re an INFJ looking for a good friend, here’s why an INFP might be just the friend you need.

4 Reasons INFJs and INFPs Make Such Good Friends

1. Mutual understanding.

   Both INFJs and INFPs are rare personalities, which means they might both be accustomed to being misunderstood by others and both may struggle to find like-minded friends. These commonalities may already lead INFJs and INFPs to have something to bond over when they meet, but their understanding goes even deeper than that.
   
   Because INFJs and INFPs share so many letters in the Myers-Briggs system—three out of four—it means they have similar approaches to life. They’re both introverted, which means they recharge in their alone time. They’re both intuitive, which means they derive information and insight from their own inner wisdom, rather than from the physical, sensory world. And they’re both feeling, which means they prefer to lead with emotion rather than rational thought.
   
   All of this leads them to approach life from a similar place. And when you understand how someone approaches life, you’re well on your way to understanding them. And understanding goes a long way when it comes to forming friendships. There’s also nothing quite like being understood, especially when you’re used to being misunderstood.
   
   INFJs and INFPs may also have similar struggles, like with overthinking and people-pleasing. And because they do tend to be so different from others, they may choose unconventional or alternative lifestyles that other personalities may not be able to understand, let alone accept. But an INFJ or INFP will most likely be able to understand and accept those choices. All of this mutual understanding can help INFJs and INFPs form strong bonds with one another.

2. Willingness to go deep.

   I talk in this post about how one way for introverts to form deeper friendships is by finding friends who also want to go deep. In fact, in that post I mention specifically that people of the INFJ and INFP personalities love to go deep. It’s where they live. So, it’s only natural for them to yearn for friendships where they can have that depth.
   
   Once they find each other, INFJs and INFPs will want to talk about everything together. But they’ll always have a preference for depth in their conversations. Both INFJs and INFPs tend to have deep, sometimes unconventional interests like philosophy, spirituality, personality theory, and the mysteries of the universe. They may also have unique views or perspectives on those interests, and it will excite them to find someone who they can discuss all those views and perspectives with.
   
   Other personalities may not fully understand or accept this uniqueness, but INFJs and INFPs tend to embrace it. I don’t think either of these types can ever tire of exploring their favorite interests to the core, especially with someone who shares those interests or someone open-minded enough to listen without judgment.

3. Love of writing.

   Both INFJs and INFPs love to express themselves in writing. Introverts in general tend to prefer writing over verbal communication because it gives them time to think through what they’re going to say before uttering a word. But the writing style of INFJs and INFPs tends to be warm, and they also tend to have a flair for poetic prose.
   
   Also, they don’t just write for the sake of writing. They write as a way to understand themselves and others better. They write to express their innermost thoughts, feelings, and wishes. And even when writing about the most mundane of things, their writing becomes an art in itself. This is something both personality types can appreciate about the other.
   
   This shared love of writing can be a mutual interest, but it can also serve as a way to communicate. INFJs and INFPs may both value the art of letter-writing as a way to keep in touch. And so, with similar communication styles, this adds to the level of understanding between these two types. And you can also imagine how much more an INFJ or INFP would long for a letter written with heart and poetry over one devoid of any feeling or artistry.

4. Similar values.

   Both INFJs and INFPs tend to be very empathetic, compassionate individuals. They value kindness, authenticity, and depth. They’re also sensitive souls, which allows them to experience life on a much deeper level.
   
   Sometimes it can be hard to feel everything so deeply, especially when surrounded by people who live life on a very superficial level. This is why it can be so refreshing and rewarding for them to find someone who also experiences the highs and lows that are natural for sensitive types.
   
   Also, while INFJs and INFPs are perfectly capable of living life on the edge and jumping from one adventure to the next, both personality types thrive in adventures of the mind. A long, in-depth conversation with a friend over coffee or tea (or tisane!) would be as thrilling to them as jumping off a cliff would be for a more traditional thrill-seeker.
   
   This shared love of deep conversation means it’s unlikely that an INFJ and INFP will ever be bored together. And if they don’t feel like talking, they can just sit and enjoy a comfortable silence as they relish the experience of existing in the same moment together. That may not be enough for other personality types, but it will most likely suffice for an INFJ or INFP.

Final Thoughts

Now that you have an idea why INFJs and INFPs make such good friends, if you’re an INFJ or an INFP, you might be wondering, where do I find such a friend? I have to admit, both INFJs and INFPs can be hard to find in real life. As I said, they’re both rare personalities. But if you keep your eyes and heart open, I believe you will find an INFJ or INFP who you can enjoy some deep chats with.

Now I turn it to you. Why do you think INFJs and INFPs make good friends? Let me know in the comments.

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: September 22, 2023