The Importance of Gratitude While Waiting for That Special Someone

Photo by Sara Cervera on Unsplash

If you’ve been single for a long time and it’s not by choice, most likely you spend a good amount of your time wondering when you’re going to meet your special someone.

Every time you see a couple, you wonder when that will be you with your significant other. Every time a friend or relative gets married, you wonder when your future spouse is going to show up. It seems you can’t go anywhere without being reminded of how easy it is for some people to find love while you’re still searching for it.

I’ve lived this life for many years now, and I can tell you, on those bad days when I feel the longing more than usual, it’s not fun.

But one thing I’ve learned is that it’s really easy to focus on this one thing you don’t have and ignore all the other blessings in your life. In particular, it’s easy to take for granted all the other people in your life because of this one person you’re still waiting for.

Shifting Your Perspective

It may be true that you don’t have a partner right now while others do. But what about all the other relationships you do have? Do you ever think about how even people with a partner may want some of those amazing relationships you have the privilege of enjoying now?

Maybe you get along well with your parents. Maybe you consider your siblings your best friends. Maybe you’re really close to your cousins.

Maybe you have a friend you can tell everything to—someone you know you can turn to on your best and worst days—someone you know will never pass judgment and who could care less how many followers you have on social media.

And let’s not forget the relationship you have with yourself. If you enjoy spending time with yourself, that itself is a blessing. And if you don’t, you might want to work on that before you enter a relationship.

All this to say, while you wait for your special someone to enter your life, don’t neglect the relationships you already enjoy. Remember, every relationship of value you have is one someone else would love to have.

What If You’re Not Close to Many People?

Ok, so maybe you don’t have any good friends or you’re not on the best of terms with your family. That’s the time to adopt a chosen family.

Go out and do things with people who share your interests—by joining a club or volunteering, for example. You can form strong bonds this way, and these people can become your new family and friends.

And every person added to your life will be one more person you can be grateful for—one more person to cherish, one more person to spend time with, and one more person to share your love with.

Also, if you’re old enough and in the position to do so, you can always adopt a child. While you wait for a romantic partner, you can share your love in a different way—with a child longing for a forever home. This child will be unbelievably grateful you were kind enough to open your heart and your home to them.

It’s possible that while you’re doing all these things, your partner will show up. But don’t do them just because you’re hoping to meet someone along the way. Do it for the experience, as I mention in this post. Any partner who enters your life will just be another blessing you can add to your list.

And remember, if you have even one person in your life who’s there for you and who cares about you, that’s something worth being grateful for.

How Can You Show Gratitude to Loved Ones?

One of the best ways to show your loved ones how grateful you are for them is to make time for them.

Take time out of your busy schedule to make them a handmade gift just because. There doesn’t have to be any special occasion. Just do it because you want to show how much you care. Or you can buy a thoughtful gift, something you know they need or would greatly appreciate.

Bake your loved ones something. Write them letters. Or just give them your undivided attention when you’re with them. Put away your computer and phone, clear your head, and be fully in the moment with them.

Listen to every word they say. Don’t think about what you’re going to say next, what you’re going to make for dinner, or how you’re going to find this partner of yours. Just be in the moment with them.

You can think about all those other things some other time. But when you’re with the ones you care about, be fully with them. Even if you’re just watching TV together, be there fully. Don’t also be making a “To Do” list in the back of your mind or planning your next vacation.

Time is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone else. And when you’re fully present with the people you’re spending time with, that’s one of the best ways to show your gratitude for their existence and their love.

Why Is Gratitude So Important?

At this point you may be thinking, “Being grateful is all well and good, but how will it help me find my life partner?” It may not help you do that, but it will prepare you for when that person shows up.

If you get into the habit of taking for granted all the other people in your life while you wait for your partner, it’s very likely that when you do finally find them, you’ll eventually take that person for granted, too. Why? Because there will always be something more you want.

There will always be something more you feel you need to be happy or to live a full life. You’ll always be reaching or searching for something.

And so, when you do finally have this person in your life, there will come a day when you’ll forget how much you longed for them and how long you waited for them. As a result, you may come to take this person for granted. And if you do that, they may leave because they don’t feel valued.

So, get in the habit of being grateful for everything you have now, especially the people in your life. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more, but don’t let that keep you from enjoying what you already have.

And when it comes to your loved ones, show them how much you care about them whenever you can. This will make you and them very happy, and it will be good practice for when you finally find your partner.

Now I turn it to you. Why do you think it’s so important to be grateful for your loved ones and other blessings while you wait for your significant other?

~ Ashley C.

P.S. For everyone celebrating, Happy Thanksgiving!

Also, if you’re an INFJ or someone who loves deeply and you would like tips and advice about crushes, unrequited love, and the search for a romantic partner, feel free to join “The INFJ Search for Love” newsletter!

Last updated: June 7, 2024