The Importance of Self-Discovery When Leaving Christianity for Spirituality

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If you’ve been Christian for a long time and you’ve decided to shift from Christianity to spirituality, this is not a change to be taken lightly. This is especially true if Christianity has been a big or even central part of your life and you’ve taken your faith seriously up till now. I know this from personal experience.

One really important thing you’ll want to do as you make this transition is go on a self-discovery journey. In this post, I talk about the importance of self-discovery in general. But this is especially important when making a huge change like this.

Up until now, you’ve likely been living according to other people’s beliefs and practicing rituals and following rules prescribed by others. Now as you uncover your own authentic spirituality, you have to take time to uncover what you truly believe and what spiritual practices feel good to you, helping you feel more connected to both yourself and your Higher Power.

This process probably won’t happen overnight. You’ll have to work hard to uproot deep religious beliefs, some of which you may have never even questioned until now. You’ll have to adjust to new beliefs that allow you to practice a more authentic spirituality instead of relying on others to tell you what to believe. And you’ll have to experiment with new spiritual practices or just ways of being spiritual rather than having someone tell you what to do and how to live.

What Is Spirituality?

Before we talk about how to go on this journey of self-discovery, let’s first get some clarity on what spirituality is—or at least what I mean when I talk about spirituality. People will have different definitions or ideas about what it means to be spiritual, but here’s my definition. Spirituality is simply believing that you are connected to something greater.

You can engage in spiritual practices that people may consider to be more traditional, like prayer and meditation. And you can choose to practice nontraditional forms of spirituality if you want to. But I don’t believe you have to ascribe to any particular type of spirituality or perform any particular rituals to consider yourself spiritual. The way I see it, whenever you feel connected to your Higher Power or to something greater than you, that’s spirituality.

For instance, you might experience your Higher Power through nature. Or maybe art or music or food. Or maybe it’s when you’re driving down a scenic route. Or when you’re enjoying good conversation with good company. Or when you’re connecting to the earth through gardening. Or when you observe the night sky. Or when you’re just lost in doing something that’s fun for you.

I believe there are an infinite number of ways to experience the Divine. And I believe authentic spirituality is about understanding how you connect to that Force and incorporating more of those kinds of activities into your daily life.

You might find that you connect to something greater through more traditional practices, too, and that’s fine. In that case, you might want to incorporate those rituals into your life. Or you might find that connection through nontraditional practices, which is also fine if that feels good to you.

But I don’t believe specific rituals are required to connect or feel connected to this Power. You just have to pay attention to when you feel connected to something greater than you. Or when you experience otherworldly feelings that are difficult or even impossible to describe, like intense joy or happiness. And as you continue on your spiritual journey, try to stay open to new ways of experiencing that Power.

How Do You Begin This Kind of Self-Discovery Journey?

To begin this self journey, I would encourage you to start by gaining clarity on what you believe now. This can make it easier to do the experimenting you’ll need to do to figure out what spirituality looks like to you. Because if you try to engage in new spiritual practices that feel out of alignment with your old beliefs, the friction may make it harder for you to get comfortable with new ways of behaving. So, try to get clear on what you believe before you start taking actions that are in alignment with that.

An example of this for me was when I had to replace the belief I once held that Christianity is the only true religion. It amazes me that I was ever able to believe that, but it was one of those deep religious beliefs I had to uproot to do the experimenting necessary to practice my own version of spirituality.

I went through different versions of the belief I used to replace that one, but it was essentially a belief that there are as many right ways to honor your Higher Power as there are people. Believing that left me more open to figuring out how I actually experience my Higher Power.

(I’ve actually modified even those replacement beliefs at this point. But simply being open to the idea that there isn’t one “right” way to practice spirituality was freeing to me.)

But even after mentally replacing beliefs like that, know that the hard work isn’t over. Because even when you start taking actions in alignment with the beliefs that feel authentic to you, beliefs that were deeply rooted might still take time before it feels like they’re no longer running the show. So, go slow throughout this experimental period.

And don’t beat yourself up if you’re finding it hard to live according to new beliefs. If the old beliefs were deep, even if you reject them mentally, it still might take time before all of you is on board with the new beliefs. This is something I learned from the book When Religion Hurts You by Laura E. Anderson, PhD.

I would suggest you start living out beliefs that feel less contentious to you. For instance, if you would like to continue praying as part of a spiritual practice, maybe you could try praying in a way that’s less formal than what you’re used to. You might be used to using some sort of script or repeating words and phrases you’ve been taught to use while praying. Maybe now you can try to just speak from your heart.

Or maybe you would like to try a different way of communing with your Higher Power. So, instead of praying, you could try going for a walk in nature or even through a nature center or botanical gardens when they’re not too busy. Observe how that feels for you. And do it a few times before you decide whether or not to include this as part of your spiritual practice.

I would also encourage you to start paying attention to when you feel a connection to something greater as you go through your daily life. You may not have been accustomed to doing this because you may not have been taught to look for these kinds of moments. But you can pay attention now. Even if the moments seem short or fleeting, pay attention.

Notice when you feel intense joy or excitement. Notice when you experience any otherworldly emotions or when you sense something moving you deeply. And if you can, try to include more of those kinds of activities into your routine.

If you do find yourself inspired to completely change everything about your spiritual practice overnight, far be it from me to stop you. But in my experience, it takes time to adjust to new beliefs that are contrary to old beliefs that were deeply rooted. So, patience and compassion throughout this process can go a long way.

Tips for Continuing the Journey

Also remember that as you evolve spiritually, you may find that the spiritual practices that once served you no longer do. That’s why, every once in a while, you might want to re-evaluate whether your beliefs still feel authentic to you and whether your spiritual practices are still helping you feel connected to your true self and your Higher Power.

If you find that rituals or practices that once helped aren’t having the same effect, it’s fine to trade those practices for new ones or to stop performing some practices without replacing them. As you go on this journey, you’ll discover what serves you and what doesn’t. And at different points of your journey, different practices might be more or less helpful. So, try to pay attention to what you and your spirit need at different points along the way.

One of the many beautiful things about developing your own authentic spirituality is that you get to decide when and how you change things if you find something isn’t working. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to start doing things differently.

Final Thoughts

If Christianity has been a big part of your life, leaving Christianity for spirituality will likely be a process that takes time. But if you’re willing to do the experimenting necessary to discover your own authentic spirituality, I believe you can get to a place where your spiritual life feels more in alignment with who you truly are.

Having done this kind of work myself, though, I can tell you it would have been nice to have someone with me along the journey. Someone who wouldn’t judge me for new beliefs I was developing. Someone who had already navigated this kind of transition and could support me as I did the same. That’s why I now offer spiritual coaching services to help Christians transitioning from Christianity to spirituality.

If you would like help and support as you make this shift, simply click here to learn more.

~ Ashley C.