When Should You Give an INFJ Space?

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INFJs are known to love long conversations with the people they care about—the deeper the better. But there are times when talking might not be what an INFJ most needs or feels like doing. To give you an idea of the times you might want to give an INFJ space rather than conversation, here are five of them.

5 Times You Might Want to Give an INFJ Space

1. When they ask for it.

   Of course, the most obvious time to give an INFJ space is when they ask for it. They may or may not be able to say why they need space, but if they’re asking you for it, they mean it. It can be hard for INFJs to make their needs known, so it’s a big deal if they’re asking you for space. If you care about them, the only kind and considerate thing to do is to give them space.
   
   Don’t call or text too often. Don’t ask them to go out with you too much. Just give them room. But also check in on them from time to time to see how they’re doing. They’ll probably let you know when they’ve been given enough space. And if they don’t and you feel that a reasonable amount of time has passed, go ahead and ask them about it. And respect whatever they tell you.

2. After a disagreement.

   Sometimes, when we have a disagreement with someone, our natural tendency is to step in and try to fix it with conversation. While you definitely should talk to someone after a disagreement, you might might to hold off on talking right away.
   
   This can apply to anyone, but especially so for INFJs who may need some extra time to process and decompress before addressing the issue or issues at hand. Without this space, they won’t be clear-minded enough to approach the situation in any rational way. While INFJs are known to lead with emotion rather than reason, they still have a rational faculty. And it’s helpful when they can use it when resolving conflict.
   
   Now, INFJs may actually prefer to avoid a discussion of an issue altogether, so you don’t want to refrain from talking indefinitely. But you might want to give them some space before addressing the problem.

3. When they need alone time.

   Alone time is sacred for INFJs, as it is for all introverts. When an INFJ is recharging during their alone time, that’s not when they want to be engaging in conversation with someone else, no matter how interesting it may be.
   
   Even texting is too much for them during this time, so please don’t be offended if they don’t respond to you while enjoying their alone time. Unlike a cellphone that can be used while it’s charging, INFJs need a distraction-free environment when they recharge. So, unless a matter is really urgent, please give them space during their alone time.

4. When you’re starting a new relationship.

   If you and your special INFJ had a falling out but were willing and able to try again, they will need space as they navigate this new relationship. (For more advice on how to start a new relationship with an INFJ who left, you can check out this post.)
   
   Depending on what happened, they will need space to process all the feelings and emotions that are sure to overcome them as they come to trust you, their own self, or the relationship again. So, if your INFJ doesn’t always want to go out with you when you would like to or if their text or email messages don’t come as quickly as you would like, try to be patient. Just give them space while they figure things out.

5. When they’re busy.

   Because INFJs tend to be people-pleasers, they may be willing to take more on their plate even when theirs is already overloaded. This is why, if an INFJ tells you they’re busy, it’s best not to add one more thing to their “To Do” list.
   
   Instead, give them the space they need to finish what they’re doing before you give them something else to do. In fact, it might be a good idea to try to take something off their plate if you can. But you might want to ask them if it’s ok before you do that.

Final Thoughts

Even the most extroverted people among us need space from time to time. But since INFJs are introverts who recharge during their time alone, they may need more space than others. And while they may sometimes say when they need space, other times their people-pleasing tendencies can keep them from doing so.

That’s why it’s helpful if their loved ones can recognize the signs and act accordingly. And an INFJ will most likely appreciate being given space when they most need it.

Now it’s your turn. When do you think you should give an INFJ space? Let me know in the comments.

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: September 22, 2023