How to Make an INFJ Happy During the Holidays

Photo by Larisa Birta on Unsplash

The holiday season has begun, and if there’s a special INFJ in your life, I’m sure you’re looking forward to spending it with them. But as you enjoy your holiday treats and traditions together, you might want to take a moment to consider how your INFJ would prefer to spend their holidays.

You two may have different ideas about what makes the holidays fun. And if you’re not careful, your idea of fun might be your INFJ’s idea of misery.

So, if you’d like to know how to make an INFJ happy during the holidays, take a look at this list.

5 Ways to Make an INFJ Happy During the Holiday Season

1. Don’t make them socialize too much.

   This is something to keep in mind for any introvert during the holidays. By nature, introverts can only handle so much socializing before they reach their “people limit.” If you’re an introvert, you probably already know this and weren’t planning on overbooking your socializing calendar.
   
   But if you’re an extrovert, I know you can’t get enough socializing, which means your desire to get together with others is probably even stronger during the holidays. If you’re an extrovert with an INFJ partner or loved one who you enjoy spending time with, remember that they can’t socialize as much as you can or as much as you would like to.
   
   They’ll probably be happy to go to events with you on occasion, but they’ll also be thrilled to spend time alone with you just talking, reading, watching movies, or listening to holiday music. So, as much as you can, try to make sure your holiday social events are interspersed with moments like these.

2. Give them permission to leave events early.

   When you do schedule events with an INFJ, make sure they know before the event that it’s ok if they want to leave early. As in #1, if you’re also an introvert, you probably already know how it feels when you want to leave an event early, and you’ll probably have no trouble agreeing with your INFJ that you’ll leave as soon as one of you is ready to go. So, again, I’m talking mostly to extroverts here.
   
   Even if your INFJ is looking forward to the events that you attend with them, that doesn’t mean they’ll be able to stay all night. INFJs may be considered extroverted introverts because they enjoy being around people and find them fascinating, but that doesn’t take away their introversion. As introverts, they don’t need to socialize much before they’ve fulfilled their socializing needs.
   
   Don’t make your INFJ feel guilty for taking care of their needs when they tell you they would like to leave an event early. Let them know that you understand how important it is for them not to get overstimulated (more on that in #3) and that you don’t mind if they can’t socialize as much as you can.

3. Allow them downtime after socializing.

   While INFJs may enjoy attending social events (in moderation), after socializing, they will need time alone. And this time alone will have to be without anyone else around. (Yes, that includes you.)
   
   The thing is, most INFJs are also empaths and HSPs (Highly Sensitive People). Among other things, this means that they absorb other people’s emotions and tend to get overstimulated easily. There’s nothing wrong with being this way. Being an empath and an HSP actually allows them to have a deeper experience of life. But if an INFJ is to be at their best, they need to make sure their needs are met, and one of those needs is for alone time.
   
   Because INFJs who are empaths and/or highly sensitive will be absorbing emotions as long as there are people around, it’s essential that they get time alone. Only when they’re alone are they free to concern themselves with just their own emotions. That’s a wonderful relief after being bombarded with everyone else’s.
   
   And even INFJs who aren’t empaths or highly sensitive will still need alone time because they’re introverts and deeply empathetic. Only during these crucial periods of time alone can they focus on empathizing with just themselves.

4. Give them a thoughtful gift.

   INFJs tend not to be very materialistic. When it comes to receiving gifts, it’s the thought behind the gift that matters more to them than the gift itself, as this article from Psychology Junkie discusses. That same article also offers 7 great gift ideas for INFJs. What’s number one on the list? A handwritten letter.
   
   As an INFJ myself, I can tell you that there’s just nothing like the personal touch behind a handwritten letter to warm an INFJ’s heart. It takes time to sit and compose a letter to someone. And INFJs love the written word and exploring the depths of people’s minds, all of which are present in a letter. Plus, handwritten letters are personalized. You can’t just go to the store and buy one for everyone you know. You have to take the time to compose each one individually.
   
   While not every INFJ would enjoy receiving a handwritten letter as a gift, understanding how valuable something this simple could be to an INFJ might help you better understand what they would consider to be a thoughtful gift.

5. Check in to make sure they’re meeting their needs.

   INFJs already have trouble meeting their own needs because they’re so busy meeting everyone else’s. But when the craziness of the holidays rolls around, they’re even more likely to put themselves on a back burner. This is when they’ll be making sure that all the holiday cards have been sent out, all the presents have been wrapped, all the special meals have been prepared and desserts baked, and all the decorations have been put up.
   
   More than at any other time during the year—except exceptionally busy times—this is when you would really help an INFJ out if you paid attention to whether they’re meeting their own needs.
   
   And here we’re talking about even the most basic needs, like getting enough sleep, eating enough, drinking enough water, etc. We’re also talking about making sure they’re not taking on too much. If you find that your INFJ is overdoing it, you would help them out a lot if you could take some responsibilities off their plate or encourage them to remove nonessential items from their schedule or “To Do” list.
   
   But again we have to include the need for alone time. Even though the holidays are about togetherness and spending time with family and friends, it’s still crucial that INFJs get their time alone to relax and recharge. They can’t take care of anyone or anything effectively if they’re not first taking care of themselves.

What to Take Away

If you had questions before, I hope now you’re better equipped to handle the holiday season with the special INFJ in your life. Essentially, the same things that make INFJs happy throughout the year make them happy during the holidays. But because the holidays are a time when typical schedules and habits get exchanged for holiday schedules and habits, it’s easy to neglect the things that need to be consistent no matter the occasion.

So, if you keep these things in mind while enjoying the holidays with your beloved INFJ, there’s no reason you can’t have a wonderful time together—when they’re not recharging during their alone time.

Now I turn it to you. What do you think makes an INFJ happy during the holidays?

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: September 22, 2023