What Keeps INFJs From Speaking?

 

In a world full of unexpressed desires, unconfessed love, and unspoken thoughts, people are still struggling to say what they want to say when they want to say it. INFJs in particular may be susceptible to this.

How INFJs Lose Their Voice

Since they’re already so different from the rest of the population, INFJs can develop the habit of suppressing their true identity in favor of conforming to the demands of society and the desires of those around them. The problem is, if those people don’t understand INFJs, they won’t be able to give advice that suits them.

As a result, well-meaning friends, relatives, and bloggers can end up encouraging INFJs to—consciously or unconsciously—deny who they are. That denial will lead to a fear of speaking up.

When you’ve been told to deny your true self for a long time, your true voice will be denied along with it. And if you deny your true voice, you may be afraid to use it when the time comes because you won’t feel it has authority. After all, why should you trust your voice when everyone is telling you that voice is wrong?

Learning To Speak Up

I’ve recently been through an INFJ identity crisis. One of the oddest things I learned from that experience was, the more confused I became about my identity, the quieter my voice became.

It wasn’t until I took voice lessons that I realized I had been speaking from the back of my throat, which is where my voice comes out the quietest. Now, in an effort to reassert the authority I have in my own life, I’m making a conscious effort to speak so that my voice comes out louder without me feeling like I’m yelling.

This has not been easy. Most of the time, I would still prefer to speak with my quiet voice. But the more I force myself to speak with my louder voice, the more it helps me recover the confidence I lost after years of conforming to what other people told me was right, or what my brain convinced me was right based on what they told me.

Going on the Journey

If you want to find the courage to speak up when you need to, I encourage you to go on a journey of self-discovery. The questions I pose on this website are intended to help you take that journey so you’ll find the courage to be authentic and use your voice.

For guidance on how to start, you can read my posts “What Is a Journey of Self-Discovery Life for an INFJ?” and “How Do You Know It’s Time To Go on a Journey of Self-Discovery?”

What It Means To Find Your Voice

Finding your voice doesn’t mean you have to say every thought that comes to mind. It doesn’t mean you have to stop being pensive or thinking before you speak. It simply means that when you have something you need to say, you say it.

You don’t overthink it, you just speak. It takes confidence to do that. By going on a journey of self-discovery, you discover who you truly are and you, in turn, find that confidence.

Uncovering Your Identity

As an INFJ, you will inevitably have to let go of most of what people have told you to want or be. They’re offering the best advice they can based on who they are and what they know.

But INFJs are enigmas who have to walk their own paths and live according to their own beliefs. As soon as they start trying to conform to society, they lose themselves, and they begin to bury their voice deep inside.

If you feel lost as an INFJ, you need to go on a journey of self-discovery. Don’t wait. And remember, you don’t even have to leave your house to do this. All you need is an open mind and a willingness to ask yourself and answer some hard but important questions.

Now I turn it to you. What do you think keeps INFJs from speaking?

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: June 23, 2022

 
INFJAshley CantaveINFJ, feeling lost, identity, speak, voice, confidence, confident, repress, denial, demands, desires, confused, identity crisis, courage, journey, self-discovery, conform, discover, society, advice2 Comments