What Do You Do When You’re Getting Mixed Signals from Your Crush?

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When you have a crush on someone, your crush might make it very obvious how they feel about you. But it’s also possible for them to give you mixed signals. For instance, you may think they see you as more than a friend because of the way you two interact or their behavior toward you or the way they talk to you. But then, when you try to ask for more than friendship from them, they pull back or leave things vague.

Why Does It Happen?

In this post, I talk about why someone might seem to like you but reject your offer to pursue a romantic relationship with them. Among other reasons for this possibility, I talk about how it could be that your crush only sees you as a friend, but they happen to be a very kind person and what you’re perceiving as romantic interest is nothing more than them being kind.

I also mention that this person might be having a head and heart conflict. They might feel in their heart that they like you, but their head is trying to convince them not to get involved.

One thing I didn’t mention in that post is that sometimes your crush might be unwilling to pursue a romantic relationship with you because they only see you as an escape. If your crush sees you as an escape from their everyday life, they might not be willing to accept your offer for romance because they don’t really want anything more from you than whatever they’re getting in the current state of your relationship.

For example, if you have a good connection to an online crush but they never seem interested in moving your relationship into the real world, it could be that they’re only using you as an escape.

In a future post, I’ll talk more about the signs to watch out for that indicate your crush sees you this way and what you can do when that happens. But for now, just know that if they’re only using you to escape their reality but they’re not actually interested in changing their reality, there’s a good chance they won’t accept your offer to be more than friends.

But whatever the reason your crush is giving you mixed signals, the question is, what should you do when this happens?

What Should You Do?

If you’ve confessed your feelings to someone and they leave things vague while continuing to give you mixed signals, my best advice would be to keep your distance. It could be that they’re unaware of their feelings for you, in which case you should give them space to become more aware. But it could also be that they’re very aware of their feelings, they just don’t feel like sharing them for some reason.

You don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who can’t or won’t share their feelings with you, especially after you’ve confessed yours. If you were willing to be so honest with them, they should be willing to be honest with you. And if you don’t think they’ll ever come clean about their feelings, this might be a crush you have to walk away from.

If you haven’t confessed to having feelings for them but you’ve asked them on a date or otherwise let them know that you’d like to become more than friends, you might just want to have an open discussion with them. You might want to ask them why they’re hesitating when you sense that they have feelings for you or when their behavior seems to show that they do.

It might be because of one the reasons I mentioned or because of something completely different. But it can be nice to just get all that out so you don’t have to wonder what’s going on.

Final Thoughts

It’s not fun to get mixed signals from your crush. If you really like someone, you probably wish they would be clear about their feelings for you. You likely wish that if they show any behavior that seems to suggest that they like you, it actually means that they like you and want to pursue a relationship with you.

But sometimes people are just being nice or using you as an escape from their reality. And sometimes they just lack the emotional maturity to be able to recognize their own feelings. So, if you’re getting mixed signals from your crush, I hope you found the advice in this post useful.

~ Ashley C.

Last updated: February 6, 2025