6 Things You Can Do After You Both Confess Your Feelings

Photo by Angèle Kamp on Unsplash

So, you and your crush just confessed your feelings to each other. That’s big. And I’m guessing you know on some level that it’s big. But that doesn’t stop you from being confused about what to do next. In fact, because this is big, you might be nervous about taking the wrong next step.

Let me reassure you, there is no wrong next step after you and your crush confess to each other. But if you find yourself wondering, “What now?” after your confession, the following six tips might help.

6 Things You Can Do After You and Your Crush Confess to Each Other

1. Do a happy dance.

   You don’t have to do your happy dance together, unless you want to. But now that you’ve both confessed, it might be nice for you both to take a moment to celebrate. You both found the courage to confess your feelings to each other, and now you’ve found requited love! That’s definitely something worth celebrating.
   
   And by the way, when I talk about a happy dance, you don’t have to actually celebrate with a dance if you don’t want to. Just find some way to cherish this momentous occasion.

2. Talk about what you want to do next.

   This is probably the most important thing you can do after you both confess—after your happy dance, of course. But since one of your initial conversations might include some variation of the phrase, “Uh, so, what do we do now?”, here are some suggestions on the kinds of things you might want to talk about:
   
   Are you going to consider yourselves a couple? Remember, even though you both like each other, you don’t have to start dating right away if you don’t want to. But that is the logical next step. And I can imagine that becoming a couple is probably one of the reasons you confessed in the first place.
   
   Do you want to label your relationship? If so, what label do you want to use? If not, what are you going to tell people when they ask about you? (Believe me, even though it’s not really their business, they will ask.)
   
   Would you like to go on a date? How soon? If it’s not anytime soon, how are you going to get to know each other until then? (I’ll talk more about going on your first date in #4.)
   
   It’s good to start thinking and talking about these things, rather than just trying to guess what the other person wants to do or how the other person is feeling. After all, good communication is a crucial part of any solid relationship, so you might as well start practicing now.

3. Spend more time together.

   Spending time together is how you get to know each other better. And getting to know each other is how you determine how compatible you are romantically. So, while you definitely don’t want to spend every possible moment together, you will want to talk to each other more and spend time doing things that interest you.
   
   If you and your crush were already good friends before you confessed, you might have already been spending a lot of time together. In that case, you probably don’t need to spend more time together. But you might want to consider how the time you spend together now will change.
   
   Transitioning from friendship to romantic relationship will require you to shift your mindset from interacting with a friend to interacting with a romantic partner. Everyone will make this transition differently and there are no rules for how to do it. But going slow might help you get there more smoothly (see #6).

4. Go on a date.

   Going on your first date will most likely be a memorable experience. But before you make reservations for the fanciest restaurant you can find, take the time to consider how formal you want your first date to be. If you make it too formal, you risk making you and your date uncomfortable, which defeats the purpose of dating. If you really want to get to know someone, you should try to make sure that both you and they are as comfortable as possible.
   
   It’s perfectly fine if you want to get fast food for your first date. You could also go bowling or play miniature golf. Or if you prefer, you can just get coffee or tea (or tisane) at a café and sip it while talking.
   
   I personally feel that fancy dates should be reserved for once you’ve gotten to know the other person better. Even if you two were friends before, things might be a little awkward at the beginning as you shift from being friends to partners. So, do everything you can to make the transition as smooth as possible.

5. Ask someone you trust for advice.

   It’s always nice to hear advice from people who have already done what you’re trying to do—especially if they’ve done it successfully. If you know someone who has been dating for a while or who has experience with dating, ask them any questions you have that you think they might be able to answer.
   
   While it can be helpful to read advice online (thank you for reading, by the way!), it’s also nice to talk to people who know you or people with whom you feel comfortable sharing personal details. That way, they can offer you advice more tailored to your situation.
   
   Just make sure that whoever you ask is someone you trust and someone whose advice you trust. And also remember that when it comes to hearing advice, including mine, you can listen respectfully and consider it. But, ultimately, you have to do what feels right for you. And no one else can tell you how you feel. (More on this in #6.)

6. Be patient.

   There’s no reason to rush this process. There’s no rulebook that says, “After you’ve spent this much time together, you should be doing this, this, and this.” Every person is different, and every couple is different. So, don’t use what everyone else is doing as a cue for what you should be doing.
   
   Even if all your friends have reached a certain stage in their relationships, that doesn’t mean what they’re doing is right for you. The point of romance is to take things slow. So, try to savor every moment you two spend together. And try to focus on doing what feels right for both of you.
   
   While you can consider other people’s opinions and should be respectful when others offer advice, at the end of the day, this is your relationship—or whatever you want to call it. You get to make your own rules and go at your own pace. So, don’t rush anything while you figure out what works for you.

Final Thoughts

Congratulations on this wonderful new chapter you and your crush get to begin together! I sincerely hope it’s even more wonderful and thrilling than you imagined it would be. Just know that you don’t have to get everything perfect from the start. In fact, when it comes to relationships, you don’t ever have to worry about getting everything perfect.

But if you take things slow and focus on building a relationship based on love and trust, you should be in a good position to enjoy one of the most beautiful gifts of life—true love.

Now I turn it to you. What do you think people should do after they and their crush both confess their feelings to each other?

~ Ashley C.