Why She Chooses to Stay Friends With Someone She Loves: Exploring This Question in YA Romance

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My new young adult romance “What Happens After You Confess Your Feelings to Someone?” presents two examples of friendships where love is involved. But in this post, we’re going to focus on only one of them—the friendship between Chloe and Mordecai.

Chloe is a high school sophomore and she’s deeply in love with Mordecai, a junior at her school. But since she’s not allowed to date and won’t be allowed to until she’s a senior, she has to settle for being just friends with him for now.

Their friendship is a complex one, though. Not only is Mordecai prone to unpredictable behavior and moody ways, but he has some secrets. And he only feels comfortable sharing them with Chloe.

Even though Mordecai has ways of making Chloe feel special—like, by sharing his secrets with her—he also does things that leave her in tears. Because the thing is, at the start of the story, Mordecai already knows how Chloe feels about him, but he hasn’t said how he feels about her. And with his actions and seeming indifference to her feelings, he often breaks her heart.

So, why does Chloe continue to love Mordecai despite all the pain he causes her? Well, Chloe might sum it up by saying that he’s the love of her life. But here, we’ll explore some reasons why she insists on holding onto such a complicated friendship.

5 Reasons Chloe Holds Onto a Complicated Friendship With Someone She Loves

1. Her love is intense.

   If you’re into personality typing, Chloe is of the INFJ personality—although this isn’t mentioned explicitly in the story. But one of the things INFJs are known for is loving deeply.
   
   In Chloe’s case, her deep love for Mordecai keeps her coming back to him even after all the times he hurts her. He always seems to know just what to say to get her to forgive him for his latest mistake. Although she does try to get distance from him from time to time, she finds it challenging to let him go completely.

2. He knows how to make her feel special.

   As I mentioned in the introduction, Mordecai has a way of making Chloe feel seen and special—like when he reaches out to her after a long silence. It seems that she derives great pleasure from being remembered this way. And this is the kind of thing that can make it really hard for her to let go.
   
   Even when they go a while without speaking, she hopes Mordecai will reach out. Or else she’s wondering if she should reach out. But if Mordecai really wanted to make her feel special, he would try to maintain constant communication with her and try to have a constant presence in her life. The disappearing and reappearing thing he does shows a lack of emotional maturity and commitment, which aren’t ideal qualities for a romantic partner.

3. She’s hoping he doesn’t forget about her as a potential partner.

   Chloe doesn’t say this in so many words, but one of the reasons she holds onto her friendship with Mordecai is likely because she doesn’t want him to forget about her and the possibility of them dating. Chloe knows that she won’t be allowed to date until her senior year, and Mordecai knows this, too.
   
   But it could be Chloe is afraid that, if she lets go of Mordecai now, he won’t remember her when she’s finally allowed to date. And so, she would rather hold onto the friendship and be willing to go through all the pain he puts her through if it means not being forgotten by him.

4. She doesn’t yet understand what a healthy relationship looks like.

   While I would say that Chloe is school smart, she still has a lot to learn about healthy relationships—at least with guys. If she understood what a healthy relationship with a guy looked like, she would most definitely try a little harder to keep her distance from Mordecai since her feelings for him are so strong. But because she doesn’t know how to do this, she seems content to hold onto their friendship even though it doesn’t really fit the definition of “healthy.”
   
   Mordecai only seems to come to Chloe when he needs something—like the escape he gets from their friendship or comfort after a breakup. But when Chloe needs him, that’s when he can be sullen and moody. In a healthy relationship, both people give and take about the same. But in the friendship that Chloe and Mordecai share, Chloe does most of the giving while Mordecai does most of the taking.

5. She’s not choosing herself.

   Although Chloe is studious and makes time to spend with her friends and family, her life essentially revolves around Mordecai. When something good happens, she has to tell him about it. If Mordecai is in a bad mood when they have a conversation, that puts Chloe in a bad mood. If Mordecai does something to make her happy, she’s ecstatic. If he does something to make her sad, she’s thrown into despair.
   
   Chloe doesn’t have a very strong sense of self at the beginning of the story. Even Simon learns that, if he wants to continue having a friendship with Chloe, he has to respect her attachment to Mordecai. If Chloe were choosing herself, she would at least respect herself enough to understand that the friendship she has with Mordecai isn’t fair to her.
   
   He knows she likes him, but he hasn’t said how he feels about her. Instead, he allows her to continue to like him while he dates other girls and comes to her when he needs something. But if Chloe no longer wanted to be treated this way, she would have to be the one responsible for setting this boundary.
   
   Since she doesn’t, she leaves herself open and vulnerable to heartbreak that she could avoid by just choosing herself. But because it seems that her happiness is tied to Mordecai, she probably thinks she is choosing herself by staying friends with him.

Should Chloe Stay Friends With Mordecai?

This is a question I leave to you, as the reader, to consider. If I were to give Chloe advice, though, I would tell her she might want to distance herself from Mordecai because her feelings are strong and because he’s being vague with his feelings and unfair in his treatment of her. But that’s just my opinion. As you read the story, you might have a different one.

Final Thoughts

Since Chloe is a teenager, it’s understandable that she still has a lot to learn about many things, like what a healthy relationship looks like and how to choose herself. In the high school romance “What Happens After You Confess Your Feelings to Someone?”, Chloe will go on a journey to (hopefully) learn these things and more.

If you would like to go on that journey with her, don’t wait another second to check out this story! You can click here to learn more about it or here to start reading Chapter 1 on Medium. (The first three chapters are free and you don’t need an account to read them. But you’ll need a Medium account to read the rest. And you may also need to become a Medium member.)

~ Ashley C.

P.S. If you would like to sample my story-writing style, feel free to click here to read some stories that are currently available.