Dear Fiction Writers, Make Sure Your Life Is As Fulfilling As Those of Your Characters
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As a fiction writer myself, I know how rewarding it is to write happy endings for your characters. And I personally find happy endings to be more satisfying than other endings.
The problem is, when you’re a fiction writer, the temptation can be strong to pour more of your energy into creating happy endings for your characters than to do what’s necessary to fill your life with happiness. That’s why this is something I think fiction writers need to watch out for.
(If you’re not the kind of fiction writer who likes to give your characters happy endings, the rest of this post might not be very helpful for you.)
Why the Temptation Is There
Writing involves a lot of time alone staring at a blank (but soon-to-be-filled) page or a computer screen. And when you’re devoted to your craft, it’s very possible for you to spend a good amount of your time with only these companions, all the while neglecting your own life.
One reason this temptation can be strong is because it’s much easier to sit and write about characters who do amazing things than it is to go out and actually do amazing things or make them happen for yourself. While you may not necessarily want to enjoy all the thrills you give your characters, you may have other thrills and pleasures that you would like to enjoy. But you might not go after them for a variety of reasons, the root of many of them being the same—fear.
Because here’s the thing. When you give your characters happy endings, unless you’re writing really boring stories (I had to say that), your characters have to go through challenges and obstacles on the way to get there. Their happiness isn’t just handed to them.
They have to take risks. They have to go outside their comfort zone. They have to go against convention. They have to tap into strength they never knew they had. They have to do scary things. They have to follow their heart, even if it leads to unfamiliar places.
But it takes great courage to do these kinds of things. It takes great courage to go outside your comfort zone and go to unfamiliar places. And so, it’s very possible that, instead of doing the kinds of things that might help you change your situation, you would rather sit in front of that computer screen or blank page and write about your characters having those experiences. That’s a lot easier. And safer.
And much more boring.
And will quite possibly lead to mental health issues because you were meant to live an active life filled with challenges and adventures. This is something I learned from the book The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest. (If you find that you’re someone who’s prone to self-sabotage, you should definitely read that book.)
What to Do Instead
But, again, I’m not saying you have to travel to faraway places like your characters might or have the kinds of adventures they have. But your days shouldn’t be filled with only duties and obligations. You should be filling your days with as much of what makes you happy as possible—and not just writing.
Of course, if writing makes you happy, you should absolutely be doing that. But you should also give yourself the time to enjoy other pleasures, too—including non-obligatory writing. Still, because of the way life is—because of how much easier it is to stick to the norm or do what’s comfortable—you’re probably going to have to do some uncomfortable things to get your life that way.
But that’s what life is all about.
So, if you’re a fiction writer who likes to give their characters happy endings, I would advise you to take a moment to observe your own life. If your days are filled with pleasures and thrills that bring you endless joy, keep that up. But if you find that your life isn’t as thrilling or fulfilling as you would like it to be, it might be time to make some changes. Don’t reserve all the fun and happiness for your characters. Make sure you make time for fun and happiness for yourself.
And you don’t have to take huge leaps or change everything right away. You can start with something small. Say no to going to an event you’re not obligated to go to and don’t want to go to. Ask for someone’s help with a task. Look up a way to make something you’re already doing more efficient. Just try to find ways to free up some of your time so you have more for things that make you happy.
But whenever you’re ready, don’t be afraid to take that big risk or go on that big adventure—even if it’s something that may seem small to others, like asking out that person you always see at the same coffee shop you go to. You never know what incredible things might happen when you do.
And please believe me when I say that I’m saying this for myself as much as for all fiction writers. This is advice I need to remember to follow, too.
A Technique That Might Help
Something I find useful for getting yourself out of this mindset of settling for an unfulfilling life is to change your story through fiction. I go more into this concept in this post, but basically it involves writing a story about a fictionalized version of yourself where you include elements from your real life but then you give yourself the ending you truly desire.
If you might be tempted to use this as another way to escape from your reality, this method might not be very helpful for you. But I think it can be useful if it allows you to remember that you—as you are now—are worthy of good things and of the life you long for.
Sometimes doing what’s necessary to live that kind of life may begin with just being open to allowing good things to flood in. Because good things want to flood into your life. But it can happen that events from the past make you believe you’re not worthy of them.
For me, for instance, I’ve experienced a lot of unrequited love. And I could let those experiences make me believe I’m unlovable or unworthy of reciprocal love. I still don’t really know where I stand on wanting a partner right now, but I will say that I’m open to the idea of a romantic relationship. And I don’t think my past experiences mean that I’m unlovable or unworthy of love.
I just believe those people weren’t the right people for me. And maybe I wasn’t who I needed to be to have a reciprocal relationship back then. But I’m a different person now and I see things differently now. And while I’m enjoying my single life, I think partnership sounds fun, too—with the right person.
One thing that has helped me get to this place has been the technique I just mentioned—using fiction to change my story. An example of this is a young adult romance I wrote called “What Happens After You Confess Your Feelings to Someone?” In it, I created a fictionalized version of me who goes through some things that are similar to what I went through in real life. But I changed the ending—or endings—for her. And doing that helps me remind myself that I am worthy of reciprocal love.
If you would like to learn more about this story and the unique way to read it, feel free to click here.
Final Thoughts
As a fiction writer, you might find it rewarding to give your characters fulfilling lives and happy endings. But you might also be neglecting your own life in the process. If you find that your life isn’t as exciting or fulfilling as you would like it to be, you already have all you need to change it. But you have to be willing to do the kinds of things that your characters do, like take risks and go outside your comfort zone.
It’s true that, unlike in your story, you can’t control everything in the real world. But when you think about it, it’s the same for your characters. They don’t know what’s going to happen in their world—the world you create for them in your stories. They just choose to go on an adventure and face the challenges they need to along the way. If you feel ok allowing your characters to experience that, I don’t see why you shouldn’t allow yourself the same freedom.
Just remember that, as a fiction writer, the most important story you’re writing is your own. So, try not to give your characters all the happiness. Make sure you fill your life with happiness, too. You deserve it and you’re worthy of it.
~ Ashley C.
Last updated: April 25, 2025
Interested in a love story where you get to choose the ending? In "What Happens After You Confess Your Feelings to Someone?", Chloe is a high school student who's deeply in love with a boy at her school named Mordecai. But she has a good friend named Simon who would also like to earn her affection. Who will she end up with? The decision is up to you. Join the What Happens After You Confess membership to read the story and select the outcome you prefer.