The Deep Side of Money

Photo by Katie Harp on Unsplash

I didn’t used to care much about money. I can’t say I ever had an issue with wealthy people per se. In fact, I used to admire wealthy people because I admired the lifestyle that their money allowed them. Annie was one of my favorite movies when I was a kid. As much as I loved my parents, I think I secretly wished to be adopted by a wealthy man. And as I got older, that wish to be adopted by a wealthy man become the wish to marry one. (I can’t say that wish is completely gone either.)

But I didn’t see money as being something that was important. I thought it was something money-minded people focused on, and I didn’t want to be like them. I thought that focusing on money or wanting money made people shallow, and I didn’t want to be seen as shallow. As someone of the INFJ personality type, I crave depth in all aspects of my life.

But I’ve since shifted my money mindset. I now understand just how beautiful a resource money is. I associate money with freedom and independence. I associate it with options and choices. And the more money you have, the more you have to give away.

And while I used to believe that the only way I could become wealthy would be to inherit that wealth somehow—either by adoption or marriage—I now fully believe in my ability to create wealth for myself. I understand that it’s only a matter of acquiring the right skills, being clear about what I want, and being willing to do the work required to get it. (If you would like to know what your current money mindset is, you can check out this post.)

How I’ve Made This Shift

Something that has helped me make this shift is understanding that there is a deep side to money. When you make money your goal, that can be shallow. And going after any goal just for the sake of achieving it is also pretty shallow. But something I learned from the book Atomic Habits by James Clear is that the goal itself shouldn’t be your main aspiration. Instead, you want to become someone who can actually achieve that goal.

In other words, if you want to become a millionaire, it shouldn’t be just to have a net worth of a million dollars or more. It should be because of who you have to become to acquire that money. Making a million dollars isn’t easy, and you’ll probably have to grow and change in ways you never could have imagined to acquire this amout of money. But I believe that’s what life is all about.

It’s about stretching yourself. It’s about pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. It’s about daring yourself to do things you never thought you could, and then marveling at your success.

(Just so you know, you don’t have to make a million dollars a year to be a millionaire. You become one by managing your money well, making sure to save and invest a portion of the income you have coming in.)

Learning About Money

To become wealthy, you’ll have to learn about money. If until now you haven’t cared much about it, it’s likely you haven’t taken much time to learn about it. But now you’ll have to. You’ll have to learn how it works. You’ll have to learn the best ways for you to invest your money. You’ll have to learn how to live below your means and manage your money well. In other words, you’ll have to develop your financial literacy.

If you’re someone who values depth, you might not be very interested in becoming financially literate because you don’t see the subject of money as being deep. But try to think of learning about money as learning about anything. Try to see it as another field you can become curious about. If you see it that way, it can become fascinating.

I, for one, have become fascinated with the process of wealth-building. I used to see it as this grandiose thing that only a few people could really aspire to. But the truth is, there are only six principles of wealth-building. Master them, and you’ll be surprised at how your money will grow.

(Just so you know, your net worth is the difference between everything you own and everything you owe, or your assets minus your liabilities. People can make a lot of money and have a low net worth or successfully build their wealth with a modest income. It all comes down to money management, which is why it’s such an important skill to acquire.)

An Example of How You Need to Grow

One way that people can become wealthy is by starting a business of their own. If you choose this route and you would like to make a million dollars of revenue in your business, you’re going to have to learn how to market and sell your products or services effectively. But you don’t need those skills if you decide to stick to being an employee, relying on only one main income source to sustain you. (You may need them, though, if you’re working in sales and marketing.)

But if you instead decide that you don’t need to become wealthy and choose the employee path, you’re actually taking a big risk. Some may say that entrepreneurship is the big risk, but I think staying reliant on only one source of income is the bigger one. What happens if that one source goes away? Businesses are constantly making changes, and you can’t be sure that the position you have today will be there tomorrow.

And if you decide to take the employee path and choose not to focus on wealth-building, you’ll probably not feel inclined to learn about things like investing and passive income. These tools can help you build your wealth faster. But you won’t need to stretch your mind to learn about these things if you decide that you don’t care much about money or that becoming wealthy isn’t a priority for you.

Releasing Limiting Beliefs About Money

To become wealthy, you might also have to release limiting beliefs you have about money. Here are some examples: “You have to work hard to make money,” “There’s never enough money to go around,” “I’m not capable of earning more than I am now,” “I could never start a successful business.”

You don’t have to even face any of these beliefs if you decide to continue believing that money doesn’t matter much. But if you decide that you want to become wealthy because of who you have to become in the process, you’ll have to release any unhelpful money beliefs that might be getting in the way.

You’ll also have to replace them with beliefs that empower you, like these: “I can have fun while making money,” “Money is abundant,” “My income/net worth increases every day,” and “I’m more than capable of starting a successful business.” Remember, even if you don’t have all the skills to do some of these things now, you can get started with what you know now and learn anything you need to along the way.

You might have heard people say that your beliefs become your reality. This is partly due to something called confirmation bias, which is when your brain looks for evidence to confirm what you already believe to be true. If you’re operating with a negative money mindset that’s fueled by limiting beliefs like the ones I mentioned above, your brain will look for evidence that those things are true.

A positive money mindset, on the other hand, is fueled by money beliefs that empower you. And if you feed them to your brain enough, then it will start to look for evidence that those things are true. This is called subconscious reprogramming, and it’s the only way to create lasting change in your life.

Side Note

Of course, some people in this world may want money just for the sake of having money. I don’t judge them for being that way, but that’s never going to be me. But when I understand that the journey is what matters, then making money and aiming for certain financial goals really just becomes part of the process of personal development.

The amount of money you make is then a measure of how much you’ve grown, not your innate worth as a person. Your innate worth never changes.

My Challenge to You

If you’re like the way I used to be and you find that you don’t care much about money, I challenge you to think of how having more of it would add value to your life and the lives of others.

If you don’t care much about money, it could be because you’re a deep person (like someone of the INFJ or INFP personality, if you’re into personality typing) and you don’t see it as being very deep. In that case, I encourage you to reflect on the deep side of money and how becoming wealthy requires you to grow and change.

~ Ashley C.

Note: The advice presented here is for informational purposes only. If you’re in need of professional financial advice, please see a qualified professional.

Last updated: January 24, 2025