How Can I Embrace My Sensuality As a Single Woman?

 

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When I was younger, soon after I officially learned what sex was, I learned to hide my sexuality. Of course, this didn’t stop me from having crushes or fantasizing about relationships. But I think it contributed a lot to me not exploring those desires more in real life, or even being willing to express that I had them.

It was only recently that I started to feel a desire to be more open about the fact that, yes, I do think about sex. For the longest time, I wanted people to see me a certain way. When I was in school, for instance, I wanted them to see me as someone who was school-focused. And I feel like I’ve always wanted people to think of me as someone who had other things on her mind—someone more conservative, who had more important things to think about.

But authenticity is something that’s very important to me. And I’ve come to realize that I can’t really consider myself authentic if I’m not more open about this particular side of myself. And the thing is, even as a single person, I still have a sexual side. We all do. The extent to which we embrace it may differ, but humans are sexual creatures. So, it’s only natural that even the single among us would have sexual desires.

(Just so you know, while the meanings are different, I use the terms “sexuality” and “sensuality” interchangeably.)

One might think it’s harder for single people to really embrace their sensual side, but that’s not true. While it’s more common to think about exploring sensuality with a partner, your sexual nature isn’t tied to you having a partner. Your sexuality is part of you. It’s part of what makes you human. And that means you’re free to explore it on your own.

And so, as a single woman myself, I would like to give the other single women out there some tips on embracing their sensuality without a partner.

3 Tips for How Single Women Can Embrace Their Sensuality

Tip #1: Accept that you have a sensual side.

To be able to fully embrace your sensual side, you have to first accept that you have one. And part of that means you have to accept that you have one regardless of whether you have a partner. Sexuality is often discussed in terms of partnership, but partnership is not a condition for sexuality or for exploring your sexual side. It’s helpful if you accept this before you start your exploration. But the exploration itself can help you get there.

It can also be helpful to accept that this part of you is a natural part just like all the other natural parts of you. It’s no better or worse than they are. And it’s most definitely nothing to be hidden or ashamed of.

If you’ve been in the habit of hiding your sensual side or feeling ashamed or guilty for having one, it’s time to release all of that. Let yourself know that it’s ok to have sexual desires. Although we often use the term “dirty” to describe things that discuss sex and sexuality, there’s nothing dirty about it. Sexuality is part of being human. And in my opinion, it’s one of the most beautiful parts.

Something that can make it harder to embrace your sensuality are things you were taught about what it means to be sensual. I know that for me, I used to be deeply religious. And the religious teachings I learned were not very encouraging of exploring sexuality outside of marriage. This is why one of the big things that helped me come to embrace my sensuality has been leaving religion behind. I talk about that more in this post.

And just to be clear, accepting this side of you doesn’t mean that you have to wear things like tight-fitting clothing, unless that feels good to you. But accepting your sexuality the way I’m talking about it means you accept on the inside that there is a part of you that desires sex and sexual experiences.

However you choose to express that part is up to you. But please remember that the clothes you wear will help to determine the caliber of partner you attract.

Tip #2: Ask yourself what sensuality means to you.

If you associate sensuality with being intimate with another person, it will be hard for you to embrace your sensuality as a single woman. But as I mentioned above, sexuality doesn’t have to involve a partner. You are naturally a sexual being.

So, now that you’re coming to understand that you can embrace this beautiful part of yourself without a partner, ask yourself what that means to you. Does it involve the way you dress or present yourself to others? Is physicality important or is it enough to indulge yourself in fantasy (more on this in the next tip)?

For me, one of the ways I express my sensuality is through writing. After fantasizing, writing steamy fiction is a big way I like to explore this side of myself. It has taken me a while to accept that I enjoy this form of self-expression.

As I talk about in the post I mentioned in tip #1, the conservative side of me has had a hard time accepting that the sensual side is there and wants to be expressed. But now I’m starting to become more comfortable with this side of myself and sharing it with the world (under a psuedonym).

Tip #3: Indulge in fantasy.

I think most people know how fantasizing works. But I don’t know if people fully embrace it as the powerful tool it is for exploring sensuality, especially without a partner. Instead of just daydreaming about something random, really put some thought into the things you think about.

How did you and your partner meet? What do they do for work? What leads you two to become intimate? Are you only intimate at night or will any time work for you?

And then you can also play around with where you two have your fun together and what it looks like. Don’t be afraid to put lots of detail in. These fantasies are just for you, unless you decide to write them out in some way, which is something I do (see tip #2).

But, really, use your imagination to explore all sorts of things you think it would be wonderful to experience in real life. Or use it to imagine things you don’t ever think would happen but that still stir something in you. (And I would suggest you put your favorite parts on replay.)

You might even want to set aside some time for fantasizing, like right before you go to bed or right when you wake up. When using fantasy as a tool to explore your sensuality, you don’t have to do it only when you have spare time. You can actually make time for it if you want to.

Final Thoughts

It has taken me a long, long time to realize that sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. And, in fact, it’s something to be embraced.

While people can and do take sexuality to extremes, the opposite can happen, too, when people deny that they even have those desires. And a suppression of anything natural is unhealthy. 

If you’re a single woman who has a habit of hiding her sensuality even from herself, I would invite you to try these tips or invent your own for exploring this essential and beautiful side of you. You don’t need a partner to do this. But you do need to be willing to embrace a part of you that may be yearning to come out.

It’s possible you’re even afraid of this part because it’s so unfamiliar to you or because you’re so convinced that you need a partner to really explore it. If so, I would suggest you start slow. Do what feels comfortable now, then slowly start to explore the other facets of your sensual side.

~ Ashley C.

P.S. Becoming spiritual instead of religious really helped me come to embrace my sensuality. If you’re currently religious and interested in making the transition from religious to spiritual, my spiritual coaching services might be able to help. Feel free to click here to learn more.

Last updated: July 21, 2025