How Can INFJs Know Which Path To Take?
I used to be very religious. But over the years, I’ve learned that religion isn’t for me. I’m not very good with tradition, which involves doing things simply because that’s the way they’ve always been done. For me, what matters most is having a relationship with God, one that’s built on love and trust. That’s what I’m working on cultivating now.
Seeking Answers From “Out There”
In my religious days, I thought all the answers I was seeking about life would come from “out there.” True, sometimes I would have strong feelings and I would follow them to the best of my ability. But, despite all I had heard about intuition and trusting your gut, it’s only now that I realize I can trust myself to come up with at least some of the answers I’m looking for.
Trust myself. That’s a scary thought. I think the last time I really trusted myself, I was ten years old. That’s why I’m trying so hard to rediscover that child. She had an unclouded sense of who God was for her, and she knew He loved her just the way she was.
As so often happens when people grow up, I complicated what used to be simple—my relationship with God. For too long, I listened to external voices, especially those that seemed to have authority. I let them distort my perception of who God is.
The more I listened to them, the more I stopped listening to and trusting my own voice—the more doubt creeped in—and the more fear there was of doing or saying the wrong thing.
That fear led to a sort of paralysis. I was terrified of taking risks because I was never sure how to know whether or not I was doing what God wanted me to. So, I decided to wait and wait until I heard God tell me what I should do.
Finding Answers
After a series of complicated events, I believe God did speak to me, but not externally—internally. He told me that before I could understand clearly what to do next, I had to do something important. I had to shake off the shackles. I had to stop relying on others to give me guidance and learn to trust in my own voice. In other words, I had to find that ten-year-old kid again.
That’s the path I’m on now—the path of rediscovery. And what the journey has taught me is that if you find yourself confused about your next step, it’s probably because you have some deep internal work to do first.
Maybe there’s a habit you need to break or baggage you need to let go of. Or maybe, like me, you have to learn to trust yourself again—your instincts, your intuition, your gut. The dominant function of INFJs is Introverted Intuition (Ni), as INFJ coach Leslie McDaniel explains in this article. That means you have it within you naturally to guide yourself.
Yes, coaches and counselors can help you pull out the information you’re seeking and make sense of it. And if you’re having trouble hearing the voice of your intuition or trusting it, these guides can serve as invaluable tools to you. But it’s important to know that the answers you’re seeking will come from you, not them.
Prepare For What You’ll Find
Also remember that the answers you find may be contrary to what you expect. Brace yourself for this. Your intuition may give you unconventional or (ironically) counterintuitive guidance.
It may not make logical sense, what it tells you—at least at first—but your intuition’s goal is to help you live your fullest and most satisfying life. That may mean going against what external voices have told you—against what you’ve been taught to want, be, or strive for.
Don’t fight this voice. Embrace it. I wholeheartedly believe that God will prepare you for whatever task He has assigned to you if you have the courage to fulfill it. And, really, the way I see it, intuition is simply one of the many ways God speaks to us.
Final Thoughts
Maybe when you’ve done this internal work, the answers you’re searching for will come—whether it’s a clear path forward or a better idea of what next step to take. But most likely, the answers won’t come from “out there.” They’ll come from “in here”—from inside you.
Now it’s your turn. If you’re an INFJ who has ever felt lost, how did you know which path to take?
~ Ashley C.
Last updated: June 23, 2022