Dear Fiction Writers, Make Sure Your Life Is As Fulfilling As Those of Your Characters
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As a fiction writer myself, I know how rewarding it can be to write happy endings for your characters. And I personally find happy endings to be more satisfying than other endings.
The problem is, when you’re a fiction writer, the temptation can be strong to pour more of your energy into creating happy endings for your characters than to do what’s necessary to fill your life with happiness. That’s why this is something I think fiction writers need to watch out for.
(If you’re not the kind of fiction writer who likes to give your characters happy endings, the rest of this post might not be very helpful for you.)
Why the Temptation Is There
Writing involves a lot of time alone staring at a blank (but soon-to-be-filled) page or a computer screen. And when you’re devoted to your craft, it’s very possible for you to spend a good amount of your time with only these companions, all the while neglecting your own life.
One reason this temptation can be strong is because it’s much easier to sit and write about characters who do amazing things than it is to go out and actually do amazing things or make them happen for yourself. While you may not necessarily want to enjoy all the thrills you give your characters, you may have other thrills and pleasures that you would like to enjoy. But you might not go after them for a variety of reasons, the root of many of them being the same—fear.
Because here’s the thing. When you give your characters happy endings, unless you’re writing really boring stories (I had to say that), your characters have to go through challenges and obstacles on the way to get there. Their happiness isn’t just handed to them.
They have to take risks. They have to go outside their comfort zone. They have to go against convention. They have to tap into strength they never knew they had. They have to do scary things. They have to follow their heart, even if it leads to unfamiliar places.
But it takes great courage to do these kinds of things. It takes great courage to go outside your comfort zone and go to unfamiliar places. And so, it’s very possible that, instead of doing the kinds of things that might help you change your situation, you would rather sit in front of that computer screen or blank page and write about your characters having those experiences. That’s a lot easier. And safer.
And much more boring.
And will quite possibly lead to mental health issues because you were meant to live an active life filled with challenges and adventures. This is something I learned from the book The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest. (If you find that you’re someone who’s prone to self-sabotage, you should definitely read that book.)
What to Do Instead
But, again, I’m not saying you have to travel to faraway places like your characters might or have the kinds of adventures they have. But your days shouldn’t be filled with only duties and obligations. You should be filling your days with as much of what makes you happy as possible—and not just writing.
Of course, if writing makes you happy, you should absolutely be doing that. But you should also give yourself time to enjoy other pleasures, too—including non-obligatory writing. Still, because of the way life is—because of how much easier it is to stick to the norm or do what’s expected or comfortable—you’re probably going to have to do some uncomfortable things to get your life that way.
But that’s what life is all about.
So, if you’re a fiction writer who likes to give their characters happy endings, I would advise you to take a moment to observe your own life. If your days are filled with pleasures and thrills that bring you endless joy, keep that up. But if you find that your life isn’t as thrilling or fulfilling as you would like it to be, it might be time to make some changes. Don’t reserve all the fun and happiness for your characters. Make sure you make time for fun and happiness for yourself.
And you don’t have to take huge leaps or change everything right away. You can start with something small. Say no to going to an event you’re not obligated to go to and don’t want to go to. Ask for someone’s help with a task. Look up a way to make something you’re already doing more efficient. Just try to find ways to free up some of your time so you have more for things that make you happy.
But whenever you’re ready, don’t be afraid to take that big risk or go on that big adventure—even if it’s something that may seem small to others, like asking out that person you always see at the same coffee shop you go to. You never know what incredible things might happen when you do.
A Note About Following Your Heart
I know that the expression “follow your heart” is a cliché now, but I’m just starting to understand how true and important it is. It’s much easier (in some senses) to do the safe or logical thing even if your heart isn’t into it. But you’ll find it hard to live a happy or fulfilled life if you don’t listen to what it says.
For example, when you’re confused about what direction you should go in to start filling your life with more happiness, your heart can help you. But if you’ve become so accustomed to doing the logical, practical, or safe thing, you might not even be aware of when it’s speaking. You might have even forgotten how to listen to it.
If you would like some advice on how to start, here it is. Just ask yourself, “What does my heart truly want?” The idea is, you’re setting aside fear, logic, convention, and tradition and taking time to focus on what your heart really desires. The answer might terrify you because following its guidance might lead you to do things that push you far outside your comfort zone.
The fear can then become a fear of the unknown. “What happens if I choose this path?” you may wonder. “Will everything fall apart?”
I don’t think the heart is self-destructive, although there may be parts of your mind that are. But I truly think your heart wants you to pursue that which will make you happiest. Not that which is most comfortable to you or most familiar to you or will require the least amount of growth on your part. But that which will make you happy. And while you may end up losing your old self in the process, I can’t imagine why you would want to hold onto it if that version of you was unhappy and unfulfilled.
Also, as you consider following your heart, you may encounter questions like these:
“Will I have to leave behind everything that’s familiar?”
Maybe. But you’ll get to go on an adventure that could be fun and thrilling for you. Doesn’t that sound better than the monotone existence you had before, at least outside of your stories?
“What will people think of me?”
Honestly, who cares? If you live your life to satisfy other people’s ideas of who you should be and what you should be doing, you’re almost certain to be unfulfilled and unhappy. So, why not try to create a life that’s so fulfilling that you don’t even care what other people think?
“What if I disappoint people?”
To this, I have only one question for you. What if you disappoint yourself? You can’t control other people’s reactions to your decision to do what’s right for you. But you can choose not to disappoint yourself. And you never know if you might inspire some people to pursue their own dreams.
All of these questions are your mind’s way of trying to keep you safe. That is, after all, what it’s designed to do. It wants to protect you, even if protection means keeping you in an uncomfortable but familiar situation because the unfamiliar is unknown and can be perceived as scary to the mind. Your job is to decipher when your mind is trying to protect you from real threats or from that which will allow you to grow and become the best version of yourself.
As a fiction writer, I can imagine you would give similar advice to your characters, even if you would probably find a less cliché way to say it. But here I want to keep the message as simple as possible.
When in doubt, follow your heart.
And please believe me when I say that I’m saying all of this for myself as much as for all fiction writers. This is advice I need to remember to follow, too.
Also, just to be clear, I’m not suggesting you neglect your responsibilities as you follow your heart. But try to find a way to fulfill them that makes you happy.
Final Thoughts
As a fiction writer, you might find it rewarding to give your characters fulfilling lives and happy endings. But you might also be neglecting your own life in the process. If you find that your life isn’t as exciting or fulfilling as you would like it to be, you already have all you need to change it. But you have to be willing to do the kinds of things that your characters do, like take risks and go outside your comfort zone.
It’s true that, unlike in your stories, you can’t control everything in the real world. But when you think about it, it’s the same for your characters. They don’t know what’s going to happen in their world—the world you create for them in your stories. They just choose to go on an adventure and face the challenges they need to along the way. If you feel ok allowing your characters to experience that, I don’t see why you shouldn’t allow yourself the same freedom.
Just remember that, as a writer, the most important story you’re writing is your own. So, try not to give your characters all the happiness. Make sure you fill your life with happiness, too. You deserve it and you’re worthy of it.
~ Ashley C.
Last updated: August 5, 2025