When it comes to the question of how can an INFJ deal with unrequited love, one of the best ways for them to do that is by looking inside. And journaling can help with this.

Below, you’ll find 17 journal prompts to help INFJs deal with or move on from an unrequited crush. If you’re an INFJ or someone who loves deeply, these prompts will encourage you to ask yourself what this crush means to you and what your feelings for them say about how you feel about yourself.

Once you’ve gone through these prompts, I hope you’ll be in a better position to know how to move forward with your crush—whether that’s to confess your feelings to them or move on so you can open your heart to someone new. I also hope they help you better understand yourself and the way you show love to yourself. But the decision on what you do after this self-reflection is up to you.

I encourage you to write your answers down somewhere so you can reflect on them later. But please remember that there are no right or wrong answers to any of these prompts. All I ask is that you be as honest with yourself as you can.

17 INFJ Unrequited Love Journal Prompts

1. What is it that you love about your crush? What makes them special to you? You can write a paragraph where you describe how much they mean to you or you can list all the qualities you find appealing or attractive.

2. How does your crush act toward you? Are they eager to respond to your calls, texts, or other messages? Or do they take a while to respond? And do they initiate these conversations about as often as you do?

3. How often does your crush look for opportunities to spend time with you? Do they reach for you as much as you reach for them? Or are you the one doing most of the reaching?

4. Is your crush there for you when you need them to be? Or do they only come to you when they need something?

5. Is there anything you don’t like about your crush? Do they have any habits that you find unappealing? Do they do anything that annoys or bothers you? And would any of those things have the potential to bother you more if you were in a relationship with them?

6. Based on the answers you wrote down from the past four prompts, would you say your crush treats you with dignity and respect? Would you say that they’re someone who’s worthy of your love and affection? Describe what makes you see them that way. If you can, mention specific times when your crush demonstrated these qualities.

7. Can you picture yourself in a relationship with your crush? Do you find that you two are compatible? And do they seem willing and open to having a relationship with you someday?
   
   If yes, take a moment to describe what that relationship would look like. What would you and your crush do together? What kinds of dates would you go on? What would you talk about together?
   
   If no, why do you think you’re still crushing on them? What service does this crush provide for you? Does it give you someone to love or someone to look forward to seeing? Describe why you think the crush has continued.

8. If you do feel you would like to be in a relationship with your crush someday, is there anything about yourself that you feel you would need to change for that relationship to work?
   
   Do you feel you need to become more interested in your crush’s interests so you have more to talk about or more things to do on dates? Do you feel like you would have to put any of your dreams on hold?
   
   Do you feel you would have to change your appearance, the way you dress, or anything about yourself to make that relationship work? If yes, describe those changes and why you would be willing to make them. If no, describe why you don’t think you need to change anything to be with your crush.

9. What are some of the qualities or traits you value in a partner? Do they have a good sense of humor? Do they love to travel? Are they interested in discussing deep things with you? List these qualities or traits, or describe them in a paragraph.

10. How many of the qualities or traits that you mentioned in #9 does your crush have?

11. What are some of the qualities or traits that are deal-breakers for you in a relationship? Is it a lack of empathy? Inauthenticity? Superficiality? List some of these qualities or traits, or describe them in a paragraph.

12. Does your crush have any of the qualities or traits you mentioned in #11?

13. Does your crush make you feel special? If so, describe how they do that. If not, describe why you like them anyway.

14. Do you feel worthy of reciprocal love? Or is there a part of you that actually prefers your love to be one-sided? Is it possible that something like low self-esteem or fear is prompting you to prefer this type of love?

15. If you had a friend in your situation and they came to you asking for advice on what they should do, what would you tell them?

16. As an INFJ, you love deeply, which means you probably feel a lot of love for your crush and long to show them how much you love them. Do you feel that you show the same amount of love to yourself? If so, how do you do that? If not, why not? And how can you start?

17. Have you confessed your feelings to your crush? If yes, what was their response? And how did their response make you feel?
    
    If no, are you planning to confess? Why or why not?

Final Thoughts

Unrequited love can be filled with complex and confusing emotions that make it hard for us to think rationally or make sound decisions about what to do and where to place our heart.

If you’re an INFJ or deep lover who’s currently dealing with an unrequited crush, I truly hope that these journal prompts helped you do some self-reflection so you understand the situation better and can do whatever you need to, to move forward.

As an INFJ, your love runs deep. This means it’s important that you reserve your love only for someone who’s worthy of it. If you’re in a situation where you need to move on from an unrequited crush, all that means is you’ll be freeing yourself up to love someone new with your whole heart.

Please be kind to yourself throughout this process. And please be patient as your heart releases its strong hold on the one you currently love.

But if you just need a little courage to tell your crush how you feel or if you would like to work on developing your sense of self-worth before entering a relationship with someone, that’s fine, too.

~ Ashley C.

P.S. If you’re an INFJ or someone who loves deeply and you would like tips and advice about crushes, unrequited love, and the search for a romantic partner, feel free to join “The INFJ Search for Love” newsletter!

Last updated: July 1, 2024