The voice in your head is the voice that allows you to hear thoughts and consciously process information. But one thing I’ve never heard anyone else talk about is how you can use the voice in your head in both an active and a passive way, a topic I mention in this post. At the very least, I’ve never heard this concept talked about in these terms.

In school, you may have learned that you can write in both the active and passive voice. For a quick review, the active voice means that you’re starting a sentence with the subject that performs the action, like in this one: “The dog flew the kite.” The passive voice means you’re starting the sentence with the object that’s receiving the action: “The kite was flown by the dog.”

Although the active and passive voice in the mind don’t follow this exact pattern, I think it’s helpful to understand that, just as you can use the same language to write in the active and passive voice, you can use the same voice in your head in an active and passive way.

It’s not that there are two voices. You’re just using the same voice for different purposes.

The Passive Voice in Your Head

The passive voice is what you hear when you just let your mind go off on its own. It’s when you’re wondering what you’re going to have for dinner in the middle of the afternoon. It’s when you beat yourself up mentally because you got a question wrong on a test or felt like you did something stupid in front of your crush.

This is the voice that likes to make you feel small. It tells you why you can’t do things and why you’ll never change your ways. It’s the voice of your limiting beliefs, anxieties, worries, and fears.

When you just sit back and let the mind say what it wants to, you’re listening to the passive voice in your head. You’re not taking an active role in what it says. You’re just listening to it, like you would listen to the radio. How much you pay attention to what it says is up to you. But as long as you’re just listening to the voice talk, you’re listening to the passive voice.

The Active Voice in Your Head

There’s a much more active role that you can play with the voice in your head, though. You don’t have to just let it say what it wants. You can use it to think for yourself and process information on a conscious level. You can use it to help you replace the illogical with logic and the irrational with reason.

You can also use the active voice to tell yourself things you actually want to hear. For instance, when your mind decides to tell you that you’re weak or worthless or unlovable or incompetent, you can use the voice to tell yourself the opposite. You can choose to tell yourself that you’re strong and valuable and lovable and competent. Even if you don’t actually believe these things when you start saying them, you can still tell them to yourself.

If your mind tries to remind you about your weaknesses, you can use it to remind yourself of your strengths and potential for growth. If your mind tries to bother you with a list of your past failures, you can remind yourself that they were all learning experiences that will allow you to do better in the future.

Anytime the passive voice tries to tell you things you don’t want to hear, you can use the active voice to tell yourself what you do want to hear. And even if the passive voice isn’t saying much of anything, you can still choose to use the voice in an active way that makes you feel empowered. This is a method of taking control of your thoughts.

The thing is, it’s much easier to just let the mind tell you what it wants to tell you. It’s easier to sit back and let it tell you how small or incapable you are. It’s harder to make the effort to change the channel and tell yourself what you actually want to hear, especially if you do feel small or incapable at the moment. It can be hard to go against that feeling and instead tell yourself what you want to believe. Even so, I find it empowering to take control of the mind this way.

This is especially true when you’re trying to do something that no one else believes you can do. When no one else is encouraging you, the active voice in your head can become your best friend and supporter.

I find that taking this active voice approach can also be useful when it comes to particularly bothersome or intrusive thoughts. It can be helpful to use the active voice to remind yourself not to listen to the passive voice. And sometimes you might find it helpful to remind yourself of what you actually believe to be true when it’s telling you nonsense.

The active voice is like listening to a playlist you’ve curated on a streaming service. In the same way that you’re not just allowing any songs to play, only those you choose to hear, you’re not just allowing any thoughts to run through your mind—only those you choose to focus on.

Is One Better Than the Other?

I think there’s a time and place for listening to both the passive and the active voice. Sometimes the passive voice can introduce thoughts that make you think deeply about something you might not have considered before. Or sometimes it can help you solve a problem you’ve been struggling to solve.

But I find the active voice to be the preferred voice to use, just as the active voice is preferred in writing. I think it’s preferable to take control of the voice in your head. This way, you can actually use it to your advantage rather than just mindlessly letting it talk.

And if you find yourself dealing with mental health issues, you might really want to limit how much you listen to the passive voice—especially when all it’s saying is random nonsense.

What to Take Away

How you use the voice in your head will determine the quality and course of your life. Like with language, there are times when the passive use of the voice might be more beneficial to you. Other times, you might find the active voice more useful.

I personally find the active voice to be more useful than the passive voice in general, especially when it comes to personal growth and mental health issues. But you have to decide what’s more helpful for you in any particular situation.

~ Ashley C.

Note: The advice presented here is for informational purposes only. If you’re in need of professional counseling or therapy, please see a qualified professional.

Last updated: December 17, 2024

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